Resolutions or revolutions?

Here we are, once again, at lots of people's favorite -- and for others, their least favorite -- time of year. Sweep out the old, usher in the new. The problem is, the new isn't always that new, and it's astounding how soon the new starts looking a whole lot like the old.

Today's the day of resolutions, too. Most of us may pooh-pooh them, play them down, say they don't matter, but I'm always surprised at how many people still make them ... to themselves for the most part. We don't need to hang our failures out like the rest of our dirty laundry that we too often air in public. Sure, we'd like to be better persons, we'd love to take off a few pounds, we wish desperately that we got along better with friends, lovers or spouses, we think we can do something, but in the end, we only end up disappointing ourselves. Why? Because resolutions are revolutions.

Nothing in the history of the world has changed because someone, or even a lot of people, thought, "Gee, wouldn't it be nice if ..." It doesn't happen that way. For every progressive, life-altering change that we experience, there's a lot of agony, pain, suffering and resistance that precedes it. Sound, profound change has to be smelted in the fire of resistance, hammered by the force of will, and tempered in the waters or renewal. Change is just that: change, not merely a-lot-of-the-same-with-a-little-bit-of-difference. That's not change, that's accommodation. We love that change best that affects everyone else and not ourselves. That's why resolutions don't work. We'd like to, but we're not really willing to; we mean to, but we're not going to; we want to, but we just can't bring ourselves to it. Forget the resolutions.

Change comes by revolution. That's just how it is. Oh, it may be political, it might be personal, it might be violent, or it might be benign, and it might involve others, or it might just involve ourselves. What it does involve, however, is energy and actual change. A revolution, it should be remembered, is a full turn of the wheel. It's going all the way around, not just part of the way. It's the bringing forth of the new, not a reestablishment of the old. You want change? You need a revolution.

Our new year is an arbitrarily chosen date (there were lots of other, more meaningful ones available, but we chose this one ... so be it), but it's as good as time as any to at least reconsider. Arbitrary or not, it is an opportunity and it's up to each and every one of us to embrace it or reject it -- in the end, it's all our own choice. I can only encourage you to go for it. What have you got to lose, other than that which you really don't want anyway ... or you wouldn't be thinking about changing it in the first place.

New year, new chance, new start, or just more of the same, old same-old? It's your call.

It's all over but the shouting

When we hear the shouting -- or maybe the fat lady singing -- we know it's over ... whatever it is that needs to finish. The same is true of the year. This is, thankfully, just about behind us.

This wasn't a good year. Oh sure, we avoided another major economic crash, but the American managed to pass legislation to at least allow their banks to make even riskier deals that the first time they ruined so much. What is more, the next time around, even simple savers will be cleaned out before the taxpayers have to step up and be counted. The rest of the industrialized world just sat by and watched and never made a sound.

This was a terrible year for geopolitical machinations. It took some effort, but we've managed to turn the clock back to the Cold-War days; we can demonize one side or the other, knowing full well it is everybody in the middle, the ones between the millstones that will be ground to dust. No, this was not the year that we learned anything from history.

This was an awful year for human rights and justice. The Americans can't their racism under control, and their smug sense of superiority led them to believe that all they needed to do was make different laws and they could be above those too. Almost 70 years ago at Nuremberg, they were singing a different song, but if you're the bully on the block, I guess you believe you can decide which tune is hummed. ISIS, of course, doesn't care in a whole different way. They're not better nor worse than whatever it is they think they're fighting. The old adage stands: you become what you hate.

This was a catastrophic year for the environment. US-China agreement be damned, the Canadians started shilling for Big Oil, America's trying its hardest to spread its fracking disease abroad, the Saudis are protecting their own interests and Mother Nature is simply getting screwed. We all know that we are not going to do a single thing for the environment until it is too late to do anything reasonable at all.

This was a distressing year for the poor and persecuted. It doesn't matter if you are poor here or poor there. You're not wanted anywhere. Whatever reason you think you may have for wanting a better life or at least the chance at one is mere foolishness on your part. Those that have don't want to share. They've made it indisputably clear, and there are a whole array of fears and prejudices that the manipulators can invoke to get you to do just what they want.

Glimpses of hope? Sure, small though they be: Pope Frank is still kicking butt, cleaning up one crony at a time and reminding the rest of us that if we're not doing whatever we can, we're not doing enough. I'm not even Catholic and I like the guy ... Person of the Year in my book. Several thousands of Americans made it out into the streets, finally -- adequate media coverage or no -- demanding more fairness and more justice. Thousands of Germans made it out into the streets, finally -- misplaced media coverage or no -- demanding that they allow their fears to rule them.

All in all, simply a bad year for all of us normal, everyday people. Our politicians ignore us, our enemies hate us, our friends mistrust us, and we're so afraid of our own shadows that we aren't about to go making waves. In the end, you know, we're going to get what we deserve. 2014 was proof of the saying that the inmates are running the asylum.

Don't forget to make sure you party to oblivion in a couple of days. You're going to need it.

Merry Christmas

May the spirit of the season
give you just a little reason
to be happy, warm and kinder to yourself.
May the joy you see in others
give you pause to see what matters:
it's not money that's the real true source of wealth.
And may the peace that knows no knowing
fill your heart to overflowing
with good cheer to toast to everybody's health.

We're all in this together,
and it really doesn't matter,
if it suits us, if we like it or we don't,
We'd might as well just face it,
that just together we can make it,
it's up to us, we've got to 'fess up or we won't.

So, overcome your sorrow
and help make a bright tomorrow,
make a world that's worth the life of you and me,
a world of understanding
in which Love does the commanding,
in which togetherness is really all you see.

Let's celebrate.
We can't wait.
There is fun
for everyone.
Ain't it great.
Let's celebrate.

Now's the time to think about it
not the time for you to doubt it.
We can do this, if we want to, that's for sure.
But we have to get together
and we know it's now or never,
Love and Peace and Joy for now and evermore.

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas

One of the silliest notions out and about these days is that there's a War on Christmas. It takes a pretty simple mind to think that just because one group of people celebrates one way and other groups celebrate other ways, their way is the best or only acceptable way. This is the kind of thing that turns me off from religion: when it becomes so exclusive and chauvinistic that any other form of belief is not just intolerable, it is downright wrong. And this insistence that I am right and you are wrong is the guarantee for many other people not wanting to celebrate at all.

The month of December (as we call it today) and the time of the winter solstice (which has been recognized by people for practically as long as there have been people) were taken as times for celebration. The ancient Romans celebrated the Saturnalia, the Mayas and Incas had their festivals at this time. At the solstice, the Scandinavians celebrated Juul and the custom was taken over by the English (as in Yule Log), in Poland some still celebrate Gody, in Northwest Pakistan there is Chaomos, and even today the Buddhists celebrate Bodhi Day on the 8th, and Hanukkah was from the 7th to the 14th this year. So belated Happy Bodhi Day to my Buddhist friends and Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish ones.

For those who think that political correctness has taken over, it is only because you have allowed it to. You're not going to go to jail for saying Merry Christmas, and people who are so thin-skinned and easily offended not only need to get over themselves, they need to recognize that any holiday greeting, even the wrong one, is simply intended as a friendly, human gesture. If you think it's any more than that ... if you take it as any less than that ... you've got more problems than most of us can help you with.

Unfortunately, I could not see that the Hindus and Sikhs have a holiday around this time, nor does Islam this (or next year). But, as everyone else has a reason to celebrate and things are going to be closed down on this day or the other, take the time to enjoy it with friends and family, and if you have no one to celebrate, feel free to celebrate with me, at least in spirit, because we probably won't be able to get together.

When there is so much going on in so many different quarters and for so many different reasons, there is nothing wrong with a quick "Happy Holidays" to be inclusive (as long as it's well-intended and heartfelt). It is a busy time of year, as we all know.

What all of these celebrations have in common, however, is that they give special attention to light (of hope, of good faith in the future, and well-being), warmth (at least in the Northern Hemisphere where it is coldest), peace and good-will to others. All of them share this. All of them. To think of "war" at all at this time of year is bizarre, narrow-minded, intolerant, and, well, ignorant. I don't have to share another's belief (or non-belief, for that matter), but the most decent, human thing to do, at minimum, is respect it.

So, Happy Holidays to all, no matter what you're celebrating. And if you have no real reason to celebrate, borrow someone else's or even make up your own, but make it a celebration of peace, joy, and hope. We'll all be the better for it.

Winter is here again

Many winters have come and gone since I started my Great Journey. Of some of them I was aware, and there are others that have melted away without leaving the slightest trace.

What I have noticed in recent years is that they're getting colder. Well, in the way I'm thinking all the seasons are starting to cool off. Oh sure, temperatures are increasing. Physically, climatologically we're experiencing a global warming, and its effects are being noticed the most in the developed regions of the world. We have the time and opportunity to devote to things like that.

But inside ... well, that's a whole different story. Inside, it's getting colder. Inside, we're getting colder.

This is also in my experience a developed-country thing. We in the West have got it good ... in some regards, too good, in others, there is plenty of room for improvement. But I've noticed a coldness descending upon our hearts. We're too ready to blame the victims for being victims. We're too quick to judge by appearances. We're ignorant of our collective history and when we find out how different it is from what we were told -- in school, at home, in church, wherever -- we distance ourselves and cry foul when we as individuals are asked to accept our responsibility from it. We're lightning fast at generalizing from our own anecdotal experience and so slow and recognizing, let alone, acknowledging the bigger picture.

The detachment from others that comes from individualization has many positive aspects. It is a good and necessary part of our development that we become our own persons, but we become less, not more, of a person when we allow that detachment to actually separate us from others. We can still smell, hear and see far beyond the boundaries of our own bodies and those oders or aromas, those wails or harmonies, those nightmarish images or inspiring visions still affect us ... if we let them. Most people know on the inside how they are affected, even if they don't often show it on the outside. To know more, to use our other senses, to taste or to feel, we'd have to get closer, but we don't ... for fear of becoming infected, I suppose.

And so we distance ourselves from our own world. We avoid being touched or touching. We stay aloof, unmoved, ensconced in our individual little fortresses that we foolishly think will protect us from what's "out there". And we become isolated, and lonely, and cold.

Many winters have come and gone since I started my Great Journey. And they're getting colder.

All protests are not created equal

Over the past couple of weeks, I have had to endure a barrage of not-so-insightful posts and comments about protesters. There was a backlash to the grand-jury decision in Ferguson; there have been excessive responses to even peaceful protests throughout the year. And it makes me wonder.

The reason it makes me wonder, I have to admit, is because one theme recurs so often in these expressions: the abhorrence of the destruction of private property. Don't get me wrong, just because I think if any person, on either side, gets hurt in a protest of any kind that there should be some kind of investigation doesn't mean that I condone destruction of private, or public, property, for that matter. Quite the contrary. I do have problem, however, with how this is portrayed by far too many posters ... as some sort of heinous crime perpetrated by mindless barbarians or criminals, how stupid it is to punish private owners of property because of public or governmental decisions. Oh, the anger, the outrage, the incredulity, the indignance, the ... well, you get the picture.

For these people, in particular, I would like bring back to memory a little event -- a protest -- that occurred a mere 241 years ago today. Yes, even the 16th of December has its uniqueness. Under the cover of darkness, a number of law-abiding, upstanding, male citizens, disguised themselves as Mohawk Indians (how better to divert attention to a hated and abused minority), boarded a ship in Boston Harbor and destroyed the entire load of tea by throwing it into the harbor. In today's terms, it was about $2 million worth of damages ... not a broken window or a looted convenience store, rather 7 digits worth of damage. The protest directed itself against a legally ordained statute affecting the taxes to be paid on said commodity that was then damaged.

My question, of course, is how all these disgusted and offended protesters feel about this. I'd be more than willing to be that the first thing out of their mouths is, "Well, that's different." My problem is, I don't see how. The law was broken. The law was taken into these citizens' own hands. Their actions were prompted by what they considered to be an unfair decision made by their legitimate government. Their rage against this government was directed against the property of a legal corporate entity, and the damage was great. Why is it, then, that the property damage then is so much different than the property damage now?

Oh, I know all the answers to my questions. This isn't the first time I've asked them. The answers each time, however, have always been the same whining accusations about the incomparability of the situations. The answers each time have been as wrong as they ever were.

When we agree with the cause, any means can be justified. When we disagree, no means could possibly be justified. This is what we these days call "hypocrisy". I would really appreciate it if people would think before they post, think before they comment, and above all, inform themselves before they decide to express their oh-so righteous opinions.

No, not yet ... please

For all of you who haven't quite caught on yet: no, today is not the First Day of Christmas. For that, you have to wait another 12 days. You're going to have to be patient. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, go here and find out. If you're disappointed, well, sorry, somebody had to tell you sometime.

What's often fascinated me the most about this joyous season of the year is that there are many, many businesses that generate 75% or more of their revenues during these few weeks. What do they do the rest of the year? If they're in retail, do they just wait around for customers who never come, paying rent on space they're not really using, paying employees who aren't really doing anything? I'd be the last person to fire the people. I think these companies should continue to pay the employees, close down the store, and re-open when it's worth it. And are there still factories cranking out stuff year round even though they're only going to unload it at the very end of the year? How inefficient is that? What kind of bonuses do those CEOs get?

Are you starting to get the hint that maybe -- just maybe -- some of the stuff we do -- and place so much value on -- are simply, well, nonsensical?

We're strange creatures, we human beings. Recently, I (re-)read a quote from Charles Darwin: "It is not the strongest or most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change." Personally, I think he's right on this one. And then I see us buzzing around in our pre-Christmas frenzy, doing the same things as the year before, causing the same problems as the year before, buying the same junk as the year before, giving it to the same people as the year before, or, if I'm a business, finally greeting those same customers as the year before, or receiving the same orders as the year before, and counting my money as the year before, and I start wondering what it means if Chuck was right. If he is, we're doomed.

OK, I'll admit it: I think we're doomed anyway, and it's not Christmas all by itself that is going to be our undoing. No, it's deeper than that. Christmas is just one of the many examples of how human beings do the same thing over and over again but expect different results. That, according to Einstein -- no intellectual slacker -- is the definition of insanity.

As far as I'm concerned, Christmas is as good a reason as any to be jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, but watching the scene play out, I have to admit that I do wonder a bit about our sanity. There's a big difference between feeling merry and simply being out there where the busses don't run.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program ... for torture

This week, the Senate Committee's report on torture was released. I would have liked to have ignored it, but I can't. I would have liked not to feel compelled to say something, but I can't. I would have liked that it didn't turn out like it did, but it did.

Disclaimer: Unwillingly, I was a soldier in the United States Army on active duty between 1971 and 1975. My Military Occupational Specialty was Interrogator of Prisoners of War. In other words, there's a part of this post that is simply personal.

Two things, in particular, bother me. On the one hand, there are voices that say the report should never have been made public. I couldn't disagree more. While I know it's not true in reality, I still believe that a government should be the servant of the people, and the people have a right to know what those who are acting in their name are doing. I know from first-hand experience that far too much is classified and too often it is because we simply don't want others to know what we are doing. But we know anyhow. On the other hand, there are those who assert that the release of the report could tarnish America's image in the world. It is already tarnished, by its own actions. My mother told me that if I did something wrong, I should own up to it and take the consequences. I don't know why this wisdom would not apply to supposedly adult representatives of one of the most influential nations on earth.

And, oh, for all of you national-security paranoids who believe that the release of such information could be a threat to the safety and security of the nation: wake up, get real, and get a life. The United States has never been more threatened that it is right now, and this report had nothing to do with that. The people who authorized the actions that are the focus of the report bear the full responsibility for that threat.

There is a fairly strong consensus across what little there is of a political spectrum in the US that the actions which were investigated did in fact take place. It might have been the Nation or The American Conservative or the wire agencies or the mainstream press or so-called liberal news or journalistic services on the internet.

But the list wouldn't be complete without at least one voice that would like to play it off as nothing more than a partisan ploy by the Democrats to distract from the "real issues" facing our country. Oh yes, there's always one. How calloused and, well, ignorant does one have to be?.

I, for one, am appalled that it took this long to get this far. As an interrogator, I was trained not to torture for it was well-known in those circles that the only thing torture gets you is inaccurate intelligence. There were, I will admit, some heartless, nasty, immoral, and downright sadistic folks in the branch who looked for every excuse to satisfy their own dishonorable desires. Unfortunately, they weren't send home (or anywhere else where they might have got some help), and so they remained, and, as it appears, eventually gained the upper hand.

What the (the executive summary of the) report tells us is that we, as a nation, are guilty. We betrayed our own values in the name of expediency. We committed acts of inhumanity and violated the human rights of others for our own trivial ends. We might like to think we are the beacon of hope to all freedom-loving peoples of the earth, but we have shown our true face, the twisted, distorted grimace of power-addicted bully.

But, we still have a chance. We can own up to our actions and face the consequences, just like my mom once encouraged me. The perpetrators need to do the same, and if they are not willing to do so on their own, they need to be brought to justice by the rest of the world. If we, as America, fail to act, we forfeit every right we ever thought we had to the moral high ground of international politics.

Are we able to do the right thing? I can only hope so.

Half-way there

We're about halfway through Advent. For the secular amongst you that means nothing. For most of the more religiously inclined whom I know, it doesn't mean much either. Unfortunately, my experience has been, for too many years of my life, that those who most often claim to be the most religious don't know many of the details of the religion they claim to believe in so strongly. If it weren't so sad, it would be ironic. But that's not why I'm here.

For most people, Advent; that is, those few weeks between Thanksgiving (in the US) and Christmas (most other places) is our time of getting ready for the big holiday. I know many, if not most, of my American friends and acquaintances have their trees up and lit, the houses are decorated inside and out, all those once-a-year songs are trilling out of the speakers, and there is still Christmas shopping to do.

We might as well face up to it: shopping is the "best" part of Christmas. Oh, I know everyone likes to complain about it, but what can be more exhilarating than spending money you don't have on things nobody really needs to function as gifts for people you may not like all that much and who really don't want them.

Far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade, but if you're really into gifts, have you ever asked yourself if you prefer giving or getting them. Most people I know at some time or another admit that they much prefer getting to giving, and I wonder how much that plays into what they get as gifts for others. I wonder how often we ask ourselves what someone else may get us, how much it might cost, whether we're obligated to respond in kind (or, worse, value), whether it will be seen as clever, cute, or whatever as we think it is. And how many of us don't hesitate after the exchanging takes place and the "guilty parties" are not around to let others know exactly what we think of their gift-giving abilities. Don't tell me it's only other people who do that. I simply don't believe you.

However, have you ever really thought what a gift is? A true gift is something you give to someone else who does not expect to get anything, especially from you, for no other reason than you want to make the other person happy and which -- and this is most important -- places zero responsibility on the receiver. No, this doesn't have to only happen at Christmas. In fact, the best gifts are those given for no apparent reason. That "something" of which I speak, may be a thing, a physical object, but maybe it's not. In fact, more often than not, the best gifts are not things at all. But, the most important characteristic of any true gift is that it is given without absolutely any expectations and no thoughts of obligation. If there are, it's not a gift. It's just a tool of manipulation.

So, think about it. We're only half-way there, so there is still plenty of time to exchange, or simply return some of that stuff you've got. Don't just think about what that "other" wants, think about what they actually need. It may be the best gift you ever gave.

Remember Pearl Harbor

For those of you without much of an historical memory, it was 73 years ago today that World War II started, right? Wrong. It was 73 years ago today that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor (in Hawaii), and this incident was the catalyst for Congress to declare war on Japan on 8 December, and to declare war on the other Axis powers (Germany and Italy) on 11 December; later in June 1942, Congress also declared war on Bulgaria, Hungary and Romania, and that finally got us fully involved in the war. You see, history isn't always (or even very often) in reality like it is presented in our history books. We tend to grow up pretty misinformed. But I suppose we like it that way.

We Americans, in particular (though the Brits and French aren't far behind), love World War II. That was really the last decent war when you think about it. Who the good guys and the bad guys were was perfectly clear. The reasons for fighting were understandable and communicable, and it took only the least bit of propaganda (there is to this day a bit of unclarity on whether the Americans knew the attack was coming and let it happen as it did for the greatest dramatic effect ... but that's sort of irrelevant, as it wouldn't have been the first time we were willing to sacrifice a few hundred innocents in order to wage war for the "greater good"), to get everyone on board. No, the big picture was clear; the threat had been made visible; the level of response seemed reasonable. No, they just don't make wars like that anymore.

What most people are not aware of or what a good number of people like to ignore is that the United States has been at war, with somebody, somewhere, ever since. The reasons have becoming increasingly fuzzy. We're not sure what Korea was really all about; Vietnam certainly didn't go over very well in the end; and that whole Middle East thing has been so messy that in the end, we had to blatantly lie and deceive the American public to get ourselves in there.

And it doesn't look like it's going to get much better any time soon. We've committed to a longer stay in Afghanistan even though we accomplished nothing. The pressure to get those infamous "boots on the ground" in what used to be Iraq is still growing. We're trying hard to ensure IS is the villain, but all those pictures with McCain and their predecessors just won't go away. And, let's not forget the heating up of the old Cold War. After all, someone has to put Putin in his place ... though some of us are wondering why we always think it has to be us.

I for one think we should remember Pearl Harbor, but not as a tragic travesty against America, but as a constant reminder that good, bad, or indifferent, for those who want to wage war, they will always be able to find a reason. Maybe there are good reasons for war, but I doubt it. There may be times when the it's the best bad decision you can make. What haunts me, though, is why America feels so compelled to make the decision so often.

Ooops, I almost forgot. June 1942 was the last time we actually declared war; these days we're apparently just more comfortable going ahead and waging them. At least that keeps you from making bad decisions, or so some must think.

The authoritarian mind

Most of you have most likely never have heard of Bob Altemeyer, but he is, I think, probably the most knowledgeable person on the planet when it comes to the authoritarian mind. What is that, you ask? It's the kind of mind that you find in people who are either authoritarian themselves or would prefer to an authority they can turn to who will make their decisions for them. Whew! I hear most of you saying, so you're not going to like it one bit when I tell you I'm probably talking about you. I also know that those of you who are still willing to read on will doubt much of what I have to say, so here's a link to his definitive work, The Authoritarians, freely available online, so you can read it for yourself, and you can check the science that backs it up. I'm not blowing smoke.

I know, I know, you're riled that I would even suggest that you're not a freedom-loving, freely acting, self-defined and voter-ID-carrying individual, a person who does their own thing and doesn't take crap from anybody. I know that's what many of you think, but that's not the person you say hello to every morning in the bathroom. It's the person you would like to say good morning to. I know that too.

Let me tell you whom I'm thinking about: a person who likes things to be clear-cut, black-and-white, right-and-wrong, because, hey, that's how things are supposed to be; a person who has standards they uphold for themselves and those close to them, people who know what's good for themselves and for others; a person who is willing to give anyone a real chance, even if it's clear that some people are more deserving of that chance than others; and finally, a person who has strong beliefs (and opinions) are a number of important issues and doesn't (or won't) recognize that these beliefs and opinions are at odds with each other or perhaps even contradict one another.

Humor me. Take a look at the following statements and see how many you agree with:

1. The grand-jury verdict in Ferguson was appropriate.
2. Obama's executive actions on immigration is an overstepping of executive authority.
3. Harsher punishments deter crime.
4. Most welfare recipients have become dependent on public assistance.
5. Though there might have been some wrongdoing, the banks really are too big to fail.

The more statements you agreed to, the more authoritarian you probably are. You would prefer strong, clear, decisive action be taken against those who deserve having such actions taken. Be honest. Ever since we gave up the rod, we've been spoiling the child. Every time we tried to be more sensitive to the feelings of others, the more they simply take advantage of us. Local authorities can do no real wrong; they have a tough job. National authorities too often overstep their boundaries and put us all at risk. That's how most people tick these days.

More distressing than anything else is the fact that these days things are just messy. Too many boundaries have been blurred, too many people are living at the expense of others, too many sound, helpful principles and simple rules are being ignored; it's high time we start doing something about it. Authoritarian-minded individuals tend to have stronger opinions are the types of things that I've mentioned herein, and they tend to be less tolerant of deviations from accepted norms. They also often feel that they're being pushed into a corner and they really don't know how much longer they want to put up with it.

So, let me remind you of a wise, old adage: You become what you hate. So stop, take a good look at what you're irate about, and then keep in mind ... that'll probably be you before it's all over.

It's that time of year, again

The Church Year has run its course; the calendar year is approaching its end. And although time has passed far too quickly (at least as far as I'm concerned), we're not a bit better off than we were the last time I found myself reflecting on "the season", what it means or could mean, and why it would be to all our benefit if more people would reflect with me. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (aren't we all?) but there are times when I wonder how often you have to say something before another actually hears what you're saying.

Oh sure, most readers/listeners are well intentioned. And while I appreciate that for what it's worth, you'd think that after so many years and so much effort, you'd see a bit of a change somewhere, but there's none as far as the eye can see in any direction.

As this is a season of rejoicing, you can all rejoice that you're not going to get any uplifting or (hopefully) thought-provoking, Christmasy, or spiritual, lectures. If you're interested, there are almost 40 posts in the December blogs of the past three years where you can get your dose of that if you need it. For those of you who have read them, or most of them, or even some of them, you'll know that I don't care so much what you believe as long as you believe in something; I really don't care about what you do as long as it's not harmful or destructive; and I could care less if you are offended by others who believe differently than you. Get over it and get over yourself.

We need to face up to the fact that we use the "joy of the season" to distract us from things that matter and things that could make a difference. We who can are going to eat too much, party too much, buy too many things we don't really need with money we don't really have to impress people we probably only marginally like in the hopes of getting a bunch of useless stuff ourselves. We're going to drive more, have the lights on more and more lights on, we're going to spend a lot of time and energy trying to one-up a lot of others, and as a result, we're going to increase are carbon footprints significantly, produce tons of waste and refuse that has no where to go, pollute the steams, rivers and oceans, and ensure that we're not a bit better off than we were before the whole diversionary delusion started. Yes, we can certainly be proud of ourselves.

Meanwhile, the poor are getting poorer - around the globe; the numbers of the poor are growing too as are those of the homeless and incarcerated. The hungry are going hungry; the sick are not getting healed. The strangers are being shown no hospitality, rather are being shown the door. Although crime in general is decreasing, violence is increasing, often institutionalized and authorized violence in fact. The threat of terror and epidemics is thrown in our face every day. We are bombarded by advertising every moment of our waking lives. No, if we were to be truthful with ourselves, we'd admit that things aren't getting better, they are slowly and steadily getting worse.

But, hey, we've got a whole lot of celebrating to do. We wouldn't want to get all sad and depressed just because others don't know how to have a good time, do we? No, I suppose we don't. It's that time of year, again.

End-of-the-year close-out

A long-term acquaintance of mine recently asked me why I'm so hard on Americans. My reply? They deserve it. Hey, they have it way too good and have no idea how good they've actually got it. Yes, yes, Thanksgiving has just past, but I didn't see (again) any sign that the celebration of the holiday had anything to do with its Spirit. For those who could: a big stuffed turkey and we're all a bit fatter, a bit dumber, and, of course, a bit happier.

C'mon. What do you say about a democratic nation in which less than 40% of the registered voters (notice I did not say eligible voters, or it would be even lower) turn out for an election? What do you say about a democratic nation that gerrymanders so that incumbents win and constituencies lose? What do you say about a country that overwhelmingly re-elects a legislative body that has an approval rating under 10%? I'll tell you what I say: it's just what I'd expect of a fat, dumb, and happy populace.

OK, OK, I'm being harsh again ... sorry. It's too easy, or, well, it's just too hard not to be. Oh sure, most Americans I know like to tell me that American society is so complex that no generalized statement is possible. They know, and I know, that such a statement is simply and blatantly absurd, but it's said anyway. Why? Because otherwise, somebody might have to do something about, well, anything.

Affordable-Care Act or no: 40 million un(health-)insured Americans; child poverty rate of more than 22% and rising; infant mortality rate ranked 34th (behind Croatia and Cuba); most extreme wealth-poverty divide in the industrialized world; world's 3rd largest population (whereby #s 1 and 2 have over three times as many people) but world's 2nd biggest polluter. Oh yes, there's just so much to be proud of.

It all wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't have so many other people I know telling me what a great place it is. When you look at it from the outside, it's anything but great, but the propaganda machine is churning both inside and out in a measure unknown ever before. I'd like not to be so critical, but I don't know how. With all that going on, I don't see a shred of evidence that anyone there really wants to do anything about anything. If the blacks protest (e.g., in the Ferguson aftermath), they're turning everything into a race issue. If Occupy protests against the banks, they are being radical. If one protests against Eternal War, one is being unpatriotic. If you feed the homeless on the streets, you go to jail. Give me a break. What about any of that makes sense?

No, the end of the year is upon us, and I'm going to turn my attention to other, more important matters. If Americans were all alone in their bubble island, I don't suppose I'd care, but they keep reaching out and touching the world, and what's even worse, most Americans think everyone else wants to be touched. No, if Americans want to do something, if Americans want to change something, then there's no better place than home. Get your own house in order before you start telling others how to clean up theirs.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Giving thanks

This is a pretty special time for Americans. In a couple of days, it will be Thanksgiving, for many Americans the closest thing they'll have to vacation (a four-day weekend), for others, the day before Black Friday when they can go out and commit legal acts of violence to get the best deals on their Christmas shopping. It's when deer season begins in a lot of places, so you can go out and kill something. It's time to buy that much-needed symbol of a good Christian Christmas, the tree, though Christmas itself is almost a month away and will last twelve nights longer than that tree will. It's a time when we are supposed to give thanks, but when so many families can't get over their petty differences to even spend time or have a meal with one another. It's a time when far too many Americans won't really be able to afford a decent meal or a place to eat it in. It's a time when most Americans I know, who are pretty much out of touch with reality anyway, will wonder why things just can't be normal like they used to be when Norman Rockwell was their hero.

How do I know this? I see it in their actions. The really well-to-do are never heard from. They simply live their lives beyond the pale of down-and-dirty everyday life. They are the most silent, obscure, unknown group of citizens on the planet. Then there are all those who are going to have to work even though it's a holiday because their corporate overlords have deemed it unnecessary to have a holiday when there's money to be made and hordes of consumers who are willing to spend what little money they (don't) have. Then there are all those still downtrodden: the immigrants (too many illegal, of course), the massive number of unemployed (not counting people who are no longer looking for work doesn't make them not unemployed) who don't have enough to make ends meet when it's not a holiday. After all, it's their own damn fault that they have no marketable skills and are too lazy to get a job anyhow. Then there are all those tried and true, born-again-or-close-to-it Christians who wouldn't invite a homeless family in for dinner any more than they'd sacrifice their own time to go down to the local soup kitchen to maybe make even a little difference (unless you're a disgusting individual like Paul Ryan and need a photo-op). And then, there are my personal favorites, the majority of those who still think they're middle class and who deserve the holiday and who don't take kindly to people like me pointing out what hypocrites they really are.

Yes, the people I'm talking about are those who believe they deserve to have what they have to be thankful for: their "homes", their "jobs", their luxuries, their American citizenship ... all the results of their own devotion, dedication, and hard work.

How does 5% of the world's population believe it is entitled to 25% of the world's resources? Since when is a big mortgage a sign of worth? Why does one nation feel it is empowered to impose its will on others? What gives the most wasteful people on the planet the right to destroy the environment in the name of economic gain?

I really don't know. But there is one thing I do know: for those Americans who are celebrating Thanksgiving, why not give thanks for what really counts, that you were lucky enough to have been born where you are and not to have to be the victims of American thankfulness.

On this day in history

Yes, on this day in history, November 22, 1963, more than half-a-century ago, John F. Kennedy, then President of the United States, was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. The assassin was allegedly Lee Harvey Oswald, but the circumstances surrounding this event, the consequences, the actual facts have been long obscured in conspiracy, fantasy, and delusion. We'll never know what really happened and why, and I'm not sure that it really matters in the end. Sure, I was an impressionable adolescent when it happened, and, yes, I think about that day from time to time (and sometimes when the date rolls around again), and, yes, it makes me wonder. (I told you: I wonder a lot; I always have and with each additional year of my life, I am given more reason to as well.)

So what am I wondering about this time? Simple: why do only Americans assassinate their major political figures? Sure, every once in a long while, someone flips out in the Middle East or in Israel and a well-known politician or Prime Minister is killed, but it's almost always someone "from the other side". No, Americans are pretty unique in that they elect someone to the highest office in the land, and then, later, for myriad, stupid reasons, they decide to end their term of office prematurely. Think about it:

• Including the current one, the US has had 44 presidents thus far.
• Four presidents have definitely been assassinated: Lincoln (#16), Garfield (#20), McKinley (#25), and Kennedy (#35).
• Two more presidents are at least rumored to have been assassinated: Taylor (#12) and Harding (#29).
• Two additional presidents were injured in assassination attempts: Roosevelt (#26) and Reagan (#40).
• And, there have been 13 assassination attempts on presidents not mentioned in the points above.

That's a pretty impressive list, if you ask me: 21 of 44 (that's 47%) have been killed, injured, or attempts have been made on their lives. Just how democratic is this? With the exception of Johnson (#36), every single president since Kennedy has been at least threatened with assassination. That doesn't make you wonder? It makes me wonder, I can assure you of that.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know what to think about that. My first reaction is, "the US is one violent society." Another thought that crosses my mind is, "why is assassination (well, murder, actually) considered a solution to anything?" More generally, "what does this say about the state of American democracy?" And the cynical side of me wants to know why America is held up as an example for anything political? Be honest. Who really wants a job in which almost half the holders have been murdered or someone attempted to murder them? And the country isn't even 300 years old! So young, so reckless, so irresponsible.

Yes, I wonder a lot ... more some days that others ... sometimes merely because the calendar gives reason to.

In a bind or facing a dilemma?

Some of you have probably asked yourselves at some time or another, "Just what does he do with all his time everyday?" It's a legitimate question, and it deserves a legitimate answer. It's very simple, really: I wonder. Yes, I wonder a lot.

Obviously, as anyone who has read even a small selection of these posts will tell you, I wonder about a lot of things. But the thing I probably wonder about more than anything else is whether "things" (whatever they may be, or whatever you may perceive them to be) are ever going to really change. Oh sure, there are little things here and there: the distribution of parties in Congress or parliament, the price of fuel, the weather ... everyday, normal, things. No, I'm talking about significant changes, like saving the planet, stopping global warming, invoking a more equitable economic system ... not-everyday, big things. The more I wonder, the more I wonder why I wonder.

Most people who are in a position to read these posts don't really want to change anything at all. They've got a little bit of whatever that allows them to at least think that things aren't all bad and that, basically, they're doing OK, and they're concerned that if anything fundamental changes, the world as they know it will come to an end. I can understand that. Really. I think it's unjustified and unnecessary, but I understand how someone can come to think like that. In fact, in the course of my wondering, I believe I know why it is so easy to start thinking like that: fear. Yes, simple, basic, fundamental, existential fear.

The life we lead, the lives we live are tenuous at best. They can drastically change or end suddenly, without warning, for no apparent reason at all. Just ask anyone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness without having even suspected they were ill, or someone who lost a loved one in a traffic accident or plane crash, or someone comes down with a major illness and sees their life savings flushing down the drain. There are more than enough of these people around, and there is not a thing that any of them ever did to "deserve" their fate. It was simply the luck of the draw, bad luck, if you will. It wasn't their "fault". They didn't do anything wrong. They are not being punished by any Higher Power. Whether you like it or not, and whether you want to admit it or not, lots, if not most, things in life are simply decided by pure chance. Or are they? We know all that rags-to-riches, Horatio Alger crap is no more than that: just crap. If working hard translated into financial success then practically all the women in Africa would be billionaires, but they're not.

And that brings me to my bind, or dilemma ... I haven't yet decided which: how do I get any of you to see that things really aren't the way you think they are? You, I, we all live under the delusion that those simple platitudes we were fed as children, those inspiring Bible quotes we get at Sunday school, those "authoritative" descriptions of how things are are, well, untrue. And if that's too strong a word, how about inaccurate? inadequate? irrelevant? impractical? less than factual? I don't care. You choose.

Oh, I know that there is a good number of you who know that you need to sit down and seriously re-evaluate a lot of things you believe. I also know that most of you will give it a bit of thought and then you'll put it aside. At some point, though, what we think and what we believe has to line up with what we do. It's this latter part that is so often ignored. It's about what we do.

And that's what I wonder about more than anything else: when are we going to actually DO something?

False dichotomies

We all like to think we're free ... we're not. We like to think we're secure ... we're not. We like to think we know something ... we don't. We like to think we can handle things ... we can't. We like to think we're on top of things ... we aren't. We like to think we have a say in what's going on ... we don't. We like to think we ... well, we like to think whatever we think.

Elections were just held in America. Did anything change? Nope. The Europeans are getting restless about TTIP. Has anything changed? Nope. The crisis in the Ukraine has been mollified by recent elections. Is the situation less tenuous? Nope. ISIS is still on the march. Are we any safer? Nope. The climate is changing. Are we any closer to a solution? Nope. The banking industry is acting as crazy as they were before the last crash. Are we going to see the next one coming? Nope.

We like to think we live in democratic societies. Do we? Nope. We like to believe that we're the good guys (politically, religiously, economically ... and I'm talking about the West here). Are we? Nope. We want to believe that everyone's out to get us (because we're the "good guys"). Are they? Nope. We like to think that we have a say in what's going on (wherever it is we happen to be living). Do we? Nope. We want to believe that things are going to get better. Are they? Nope. We want to believe that our children will have it at least close to as good as we had it. Will they? Nope.

Taken in isolation, none of these things is all that bad. It's the fact that we have to deal with all of them all at once that makes us uneasy. As good, everyday moderns, we think that things should either be one way or the other. Truth be told, it's hardly ever that way. That whole "50 shades of gray" thing was off the mark and beside the point. There's a lot more shades of gray and we have to deal with them every single minute of every single day of our lives.

The result? We end up creating false dichotomies that we have have to deal with and that we don't really understand: liberal/conservative, democracy/totalitarianism, capitalism/socialism, givers/takers, friend/enemy, saved/damned, freedom/slavery ... and the list goes on and on. Who really knows the difference? Where do we accurately draw the line? How do you really tell one from the other? To me, these are all legitimate questions that demand legitimate answers, or how am I to understand the drone-killing, war-waging, president who got more money from Wall Street than any of his predecessors being called a Marxist-socialist-imperial-dictator? It just doesn't make sense, but a lot of things don't make sense to me anymore. I used to think it was because I didn't understand, but I'm coming to realize that a whole lot of people who are claiming to know something, in fact don't know very much at all.

No, dear reader, the weirdness index is simply rising.

I would like to think

... that things aren't as bad as I think they are, that things are getting better, that we're somehow "getting it", that we're moving "forward" (whatever that means) or "making progress", that we're somehow more secure, smarter, or wiser than we used to be. But, alas, we're not.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that things used to be better and that we need to turn back the clock or calendar, or whatever. They weren't. We shouldn't. What I am saying is that you would think that we might have solved a couple of problems by now, but in truth we haven't. Think about it. Oh sure, we have a supposed cure for this or that illness, but it's only available to those who can afford it, and most can't; there are more people worldwide suffering from hunger than ever before; the extremes of poverty and wealth are getting more extreme; there hasn't been a year of my life (and I'm not youngster anymore) in which there hasn't been a war somewhere (and most likely in which my country of birth has been seriously involved); prices have never really ever gone down; and more than one economy in which I have been participating has tanked more than once.

It makes you think. Well, it makes me think, at any rate. But it's not getting any easier to make sense of it all.

Far be it from me to think that I'm some kind of isolated case. I'm not. Most of the people with whom I have to do, day in and day out, have historical biographies much like my own. For those of us who were once "in the middle", things aren't all that rosy. For those of us who got an above-average education without having to leverage the rest of lives, we realize that no matter who's in power, their power seems to somehow increase, while ours seeps away before our very eyes. For those of us who still like to think that we can think, well, I would like to think that we're not as dumb as so many would like us to be. But I'm starting to have my doubts. Serious doubts.

For almost a decade-and-a-half, I lived and worked in Silicon Valley in California. There were lots of bright people running around, to be sure. Some of them are rich beyond our wildest dreams today. Some are poorer than church mice. Some had the most clever ideas for products and services. Some believed the weirdest stuff that you can imagine. You would think that I most like had seen and heard it all. But I haven't. Today's world is weirder, crazier, more unpredictable, more elusive than anything I saw, heard, or experienced there. Why is that?

To be perfectly honest, I'd really like to know. From time to time in these posts, I try to explore the reasons. I've not decided on anything yet, except that we're not going anywhere fast. In fact, we're not getting a grip on anything at all. So, if you'll bear with me for the next couple of posts, I would like to air some of that thinking. Maybe you'll recognize where I've missed something, overseen something, misinterpreted something.

Who knows? I would like to think ...

The gods of Mammon

Be patient, gentle Reader, be patient; I'm almost done.

Sometimes you just have to get it off your chest. Sometimes you just have to let it out. Sometimes, you just have to vent as well. But, sometimes, you have good reason to.

I think I've isolated the real heart of the issue, the reason why, at bottom, America is the way it is and why most Americans are the way they are. I hate to be the one to break it to you all, but the True Religion of America is materialism. Down-and-dirty, straight-up, unabashed, self-effacing worship of the gods of Mammon.

It's a long and complicated, deep-seated infestation from the Puritans, I am sure, but everything in America in America is measured in terms of things. Things, not just clothes, make the man. The house (even if it's a McMansion), the car (which says more about one than just about anything else), the phone, the tablet, the watch, the jewelry, the places one goes to eat ... that's what counts.

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to see friends from America from "way back when". What did we talk about? Property, investments, retirement options, cars (or pick-ups), vacation opportunities ... that is, pretty much things ... things that one can "have". Value(s) translate into dollar values. You are what you have.

There are those who would hasten to point out that my position on "things" is the result of the fact that I really don't have a lot of things. I don't own property. I do own my car (but it's four years old and over-mileaged). I don't have "investments" to speak of. And I'm about to start drawing modest retirements from both the US and Germany (in other words, two almost-halves almost make a whole ... though it may be more like a "hole"). But, I really don't mind. That's just the way things are. I don't feel like a lesser person because I can't measure up to all the things that others have acquired. It's nothing I ever really wanted to do, and in that, I can safely say, I believe I have been quite the success.

No, in my life, other "things" have been more important than things: what one thinks, what one believes and why, what one knows, how one treats others, regardless of one's relationships, whether one practices what one preaches, how open one is, how tolerant, how forgiving, how honest, how true, how loyal and devoted, how caring, show sharing, how loving, how humble.

In this regard, I have found that I have been pretty much of a rebel, no matter where I have lived or worked. That's OK. I don't mind being different. I wish that more Americans wouldn't mind either. I suspect that there are lots of potentials there, but besides the gods of Mammon, Americans have to also endure the Caretaker of Conformity.

But, it's time to stop. It's time to review and re-evaluate. It's time to reconsider. There are going to be hard times ahead (and this is not just my curmudgeonly cynicism talking), and we are going to need each other more than ever before in our lifetimes. Maybe it's time to convert.

Don't shoot till you see the fear in their eyes

Some of you are probably thinking that I'm being pretty unpatriotic at the moment. There, I suppose, you are right. Personally, I see it as being non-patriotic, not unpatriotic. America could be such a nice place, but it's like I said back in July: it's just hard to deal with all the hypocrisy. I happen to agree with Einstein: patriotism is pretty much an infantile disease, like measles. But, if you like itching, well, hey, who am I to stop you? Isn't that what freedom's all about?

Truth be told, I'm just a bit frustrated at the moment. Since most of you Americans have never been anywhere else, you don't know what it's like to the "token Ami". Yes, I'm the one that family, friends, and acquaintances turn to for the explanations as to why America is bombing this place, or what Americans have against universal healthcare, or how it is that some many apparent "idiots" (their term, not mine) get elected to public office, or why there's a race problem, or how can so many so-called Christians advocate the death penalty. (And, yes, dear reader, I've been asked about every single one of those issues, and many, many more. As the great comics have all noted: you can't make this stuff up.)

In other words, since I was born there and since I still carry a blue passport, I am somehow, magically supposed to know why America ticks the way it does. And all I can tell them is, I didn't really understand it all when I lived there, and now that I'm here and I see what's going on, I understand it even less.

One of the issues that parents, teachers, educators, etc. have to come to terms with when dealing with children and adolescents is how to make them see that their actions have effects on others. That relationship between "me and thee" is a tough one to grasp when you're young. We all know, however, that some of them just never get it. They grow up still not understanding this simple fact of life. And it is this behavior that so many "outsiders" (Americans call the "foreigners") just don't get.

America spends more on defense and less on actual humanitarian aid than any developed country. They have the audacity to demand that others follow suit. While Americans like to think of their country as a benevolent patron, what the benefactors of that "benevolence" experience is more like a mafioso patron. America has unmasked itself: drone assassinations of "alleged" terrorists, the deceits, lies and threats from the perpetual surveillance state, the economic extortion and terror imposed by American manipulated "organizations", such as the WTO, the IMF and World Bank, the perpetual war machine ... this is all America seems to know anymore, and that is, to put it simply, a sad, sad story.

There was a time, and maybe even rightfully so, when America was looked up as the beacon of freedom in the world. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that beacon of freedom in more and more looking like a death-ray of terror. It may be time to regroup.

A deeper view from the outside

Let me say that I am fully aware that some readers were simply offended by the last post. How could I ... how dare I besmirch the image of "the greatest country in the world"? But who thinks it is? That's the party line inside the borders, and I know that for a fact from my childhood. But who else thinks so? Those immigrants who are so desperate to get anywhere other than where they are who sneak in illegally, risking life, limb, and liberty only to be thrown out again if they are caught? Maybe? All those brown people near oil fields who have been shot at, bombed, starved, diseased, assaulted, mishandled, demeaned, denigrated, and demoralized? I doubt it, but who knows?

How insulting is that very phrase, which is quick to fall from American lips for all those who did have the "luck" to be born there? Do Americans really think that there's no better place on earth? And upon what do they base that judgement: only 10% of the American population even possesses a passport, some never use theirs at all, and the majority who do use them to cross over into Mexico or Canada since the requirement for travel documents changed? So, who's seen what to know one way or the other? So again, we hear all the words, we know what each of them means, but together, well, they just don't give us much sense at all. Don't get me wrong, there are many positive characteristics about America and Americans ... and there are just as many for anywhere else and any other people, if you're willing to look. No, most of them never get out, and what's going on inside, well, that gives a lot of us on the outside pause for thought

What do we see? The greatest disparity between rich and poor in the developed world; lack of basic social safety nets (and a hard-line approach to getting rid of the rest of what is left); lack of universal healthcare; the most expensive healthcare system in the world; highest rate of child poverty in the developed world; highest infant mortality rate of the developed countries; a dysfunctional system of government; bizarros as holders of political office (and if you think Bachman, Cruz, O'Connell, Boehner, Gohmert, Paul, ... the list goes on and on and on); the gun fanaticism; the incarceration rate; the violence; the brutal police tactics; the science deniers; the religious fundamentalists who are forcing their beliefs into the school system; the most rapacious form of capitalism ever devised; the cult-like worship of money; the perpetual war machine ... you get the point. That's what it looks like from elsewhere. You need to maybe get out, take a step back, take a deep breath, and then look again.

It all wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so embarrassing for those of us who are asked why things are the way they are? Believe me, there is a lot of scratching-of-heads that goes on outside your borders. It also wouldn't be so bad if you would just stay where you are and only focused on yourselves. You could rape, murder, pillage and plunder each other all you wanted, and the rest of the world would have more than enough reason to respect your national sovereignty. Unfortunately, your government only wages its wars in other peoples' houses. The consequence is that when America implodes -- and it's doing its best to do so soon -- it's going to cause a lot of collateral damage, and the most likely victims are starting to get very uneasy about it all.

A view from the outside

It's that time again ... Americans are getting ready for their favorite unproductive activity: mid-term elections. Not being caught up on the inside, the view from the outside can be quite informative, if you allow it to be so.

Americans like to think they are special. They even like to think they invented modern democracy. What did the Greeks know? We' showed them, they say, and we showed everyone else how it's done. If it weren't for America, we'd all be oppressed in monarchical or tyrannical dictatorships or something of that ilk, or so the story goes. But, that view from outside is revealing in different ways.

Over in Hong Kong, students and others have been protesting and shutting down the commercial sector because the Chinese masters wanted to vet all candidates for their elections. The students asked what kind of democracy that was? And the answer is obvious: it's American-style democracy. Others, in secret or with a token show of transparency, determine who's going to run against whom. Where's the difference? And if that's not bad enough, the candidates selected aren't really all that different even if others -- mostly behind the scenes -- tries to color one of them red and the other blue. After all, how can you choose among more than two? So you're given the choice between red loser or blue loser. But, hey, this is America where losers can become winners! How long did it take me to figure that one out?

And then, right there in the land of the free, with all those billed rights: the highest judicial instance in the country decided that money talks, literally. It used to be one man (later, one person; most recently, one registered and validated ID-carrying person) one vote. Now the votes are counted in dollars before you even get started. Like I have long said, Americans truly have the best government money can buy.

The view from the outside shows us that in fact America has lost the plot. Yes, they love to think they are special, and the word they like best to describe that specialness (for there are negative kinds of "special" -- just think short busses) in positive and glamorous terms, so they call it "exceptionalism". But, let's face it: that's just another kind of "-ism", like consumerism, cronyism, or totalitarianism. And, let's not forget that aberrations are, by their very nature, exceptional as well.

Personally, I wish them a lot of luck in their predetermined game. They're going to need it. The world is watching, but rapidly tiring of all the senseless antics. It's time to get new clowns into the ring.

But, hey, maybe it isn't that way at all. Yet, it really looks that way from the outside.

Lullabies from La-La-Land

On the whole, I'm a pretty easy-going guy. In general, I don't get too upset about too many things. But, like everyone else, I have things that can just set me off and having to deal with things that could have been easily avoided is right up there at the top of the list.

OK, I'll admit it: what irks me is that fact that most of the folks I know would rather sit on their well-padded backsides and tell themselves that everything's OK instead of recognizing that we're all being taken to the cleaners. We're being duped, and dumbed down to boot. I'm not saying there is a conspiracy. Power doesn't need a conspiracy, it only needs to take things as they come. We've been deluded, and most of it has been our own doing. Because we love to be deluded ... it takes so much responsibility off our own shoulders.

We like to think that life is so much easier these days, that we've somehow progressed as a species, that we've overcome so many limitations that our forebears suffered under. This is largely untrue. Some societies have suffered long and hard, and have suffered more because others, allegedly more civilized societies, have made life miserable for them. Just ask the Africans or Native Americans. They both enjoyed more freedom, health, and natural wealth than we like to admit. And for all the comforts of modern living, like indoor plumbing and the Internet, we're not really all the better off for it. We've got gene-modified food and we have no idea if it's good for us or not; we have industry processed food and we know it's bad for us. We have artificial light and no more natural routines, be they daily or yearly. We have bad air, bad water, and a whole lot of bad ideas. Our life expectancy is longer, yes, but that's simply an actuarial bet, not a fact. And who would want to live in Hell for 80 years?

No, life is a struggle. It was very early on in our history as a species, and the one thing we really haven't changed -- but could have -- was our struggle for life. Yes, we are barraged by stimuli our ancestors couldn't imagine in their wildest nightmares. Yes, we are faced with food and environment that makes us sick instead of nourishing us. Yes, we devote inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to "get ahead" only to realize we are slowly sliding behind. Oh yes, we've come such a long, long way and life isn't any easier today than it was 100,000 years ago. The specifics have changed, but the big picture really hasn't. Oh, don't we have so much to be proud of?

And you see, all of this was avoidable. It doesn't have to be this way. Again and again throughout our history people have tried to get others to see that we weren't doing all of us a favor. But, we haven't been smart enough, and lord knows, not wise enough to stop and listen.

All of the ills of modern society are the result of rules we have made for ourselves. Yes, we made it up. It is, in the truest sense of the word, a fiction. We are in a position to make the world into just about anything we want, and we can do it to the benefit of all or the benefit of the few. Why we have chosen the latter path is incomprehensible to me.

The clock is ticking however. It is precisely all those things that we thought had brought us further that will be the seeds of our undoing. We simply believe it is otherwise. But, we love to be deceived.

Why do only catastrophes motivate us?

Exaggeration? Hyperbole? The title sort of sounds like it, doesn't it? Unfortunately, I don't think it's all that far off the mark.

Think about it: most of us "have ours" (whatever that really means) ... we've got a job or a decent retirement, a house, a nice car, decent prospects. If nothing really bad happens, we'll continue doing OK. Life can be tricky, we all know that, so purposefully rocking the boat may not be Option #1. Admit it. That's how most of us think.

What most of us don't think about, however, is that we make up a rather small minority of the world's population. Oh sure, we'd like to think that just about everybody in America or Europe is getting along pretty much like we are, but we know -- at least in the back of our minds -- that this is not the case. So, there's only 6% unemployment in the US these days; in Germany it's around the same; but, we all know that the way the statistics are counted is for the sole purpose of making things not appear as bad as they really are. We all also know -- whether we like to admit it or not -- that wages have been stagnating, that inflation is still making itself known, that the disparity between rich and poor is still growing steadily in the entire developed world. In other words, economically, we tend to put on our rose-colored glasses whenever we think about these kinds of things. After all, acknowledging that so many others aren't doing so well doesn't really do much for us when we're trying to be satisfied with ourselves.

And, in the back of those same minds, we know that the planet is warming, the climate is changing, and it doesn't really matter whether we humans are behind it or not. Any change, any significant change, is going to disrupt our peaceful, and rather oblivious, way of life. We know that we've got infrastructure problems, energy problems, that the housing and banking industries are still shaky, that the US, at least, as a massive crime problem ... in other words, the future is not exactly set on a positive trajectory. We know all of this, but still we act if there weren't any real problems at all.

Don't get me wrong, I know full well that many people are living paycheck-to-paycheck, that others are saddled with crushing debt (and not just students), that taxes keep going up for the most of us and that we are too often just busy dealing with the squeeze that all of us are feeling. And that's my point.

Let's be honest: as long as we're busy keeping our heads above water, we're not all that "worried" about the big picture. I, for one, can understand that, but it doesn't help. You don't have to be either a genius nor a conspiracy theorist to recognize that the more I have to deal with the details, the less I can deal with the big picture, and those who allegedly represent us have done so much to allow that big picture to fade, to ensure that we have more than enough details to deal with that things will most likely just keep going on as they are till they finally go down the chute.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that it will most likely take a catastrophe -- environmental, social, economic -- to get us motivated. I'm not talking about a scare like happened in 2008. That was a wake-up call, and guess what? we're still sleeping. Pleasant dreams.

Not everything you can count counts, but ...

Numbers can be fascinating and for many they are simply painful (when they remember all those torturous hours in math classes). Other find them to effective tools, some use them as weapons. There have been and still are those who think that they hold the key to life and the universe. Regardless of where you stand and what you think, sometimes they are simply interesting in their own right.

Numbers can take many forms: formulas, facts, accounting figures, statistics, and more. Each of these can be used in any number of ways, some for good and some to the detriment of others. We're confronted with them all the time, and a lot of us simply feel that we are somehow powerless against them. Still, I find them interesting nevertheless. Of course, my engagement with numbers always remain on a small scale. For example, Google (which hosts this blog) provides statistics (or analytics, as they like to call them ... sounds much more impressive) and I like to check them out from time to time, just for fun.

For example, Google shows me how many times a blog post has been viewed. Notice I didn't say "read". There is no information how long any individual remains on a page, only that the page was called up; that is, viewed. It seems to me not all that far-fetched to compare how often a blog is viewed with its topic. People who write are always interested in what interests their audience and one possible indicator would be how often a given post on a given topic is viewed. If you make the effort to look at these over a period of time, it is also not surprising that trends can appear. We have to be careful with trends because we can see what they are, but there is nothing in the numbers to actually say why they are that way. Still, patterns arise, and I've noticed one lately.

It would appear that posts I write which deal with general, broad, encompassing topics, be they historical, political or such generally get more views that those posts which deal with us as individual human beings. In other words, when speaking to "you" plural there is more attention than when speaking to "you" singular. I simply find that interesting. When I'm suggesting we clean up the planet, there is more of a "yeah" than when I suggest we clean up our own acts. There could be any number of reasons for this, and as I said, the numbers don't really provide a clue. Still, I can tell you what I am thinking:

To me, there are two possible, and I believe equally probable, "explanations". First, we simply don't feel spoken to. Even though the point is always that even though you may think you've got your act together, it never hurts to double check, perhaps against other, more broadly based criteria. Second, people don't like to think they're part of the problem. I can understand that, for I often feel that way myself. But a simple point remains: we are all part of the problem, if not the problem itself.

The world is as it is because we -- all of us -- allow it to be that way. The only sure way to change it, even minimally, is to change ourselves. The moment we think it is "the others" who are the problem, we become the problem. Think about it.

Why it matters, why you matter

All of the big issues -- war, prolific criminality, wealth inequality, economic instability, pollution, climate change, diminishing resources, animal extinctions -- affect all of us. The world has become small enough that none of us can escape the effects of these. Other than "war", (which has always been a scourge that we've never learned to deal with) the rest of these issues simply started small and were allowed to grow unchecked. Yes, the rollback is going to be more challenging that it perhaps needed to be, but the rollback can still be done. Still. At the moment. The window of opportunity is closing on a number of these, to be sure.

As I said last time, though, we don't have to try and save the world ourselves, and even these big-ticket issues have deep, but tender, roots that can be dealt with. Quite a few of them are the result of other factors: lack of quality education and training, narrow perspectives, isolation, and more. In other words, we don't have to start at the top and work our way down, rather, the most effective strategy would be to get together and work from the bottom up. There is strength in numbers, so we need to generate the numbers that can make a difference.

Your piece of the solution puzzle is small and it is local. It can (and should) be found in your own house, your neighborhood, or community. Those of you who think big and aim high can do so, but they need to recognize that most of us don't think or act that way. But again, we all should be building on our own strengths, not solely on the strengths of others.

Broad-based support for local and community activities matters, be it improving the public schools, helping the needy, supporting local businesses and organizations, bringing your own ideas into making your own little world a better place, not only for yourself, but for those around you. The point is that by finding something you can do and doing it will inspire others who are more hesitant about taking that first step. Succeeding at solving even small, non-complex problems is a motivator to expand one's horizons and scope of activity. Nothing succeeds like success.

Yes, some things are being done, but they're being done by too few people in too many uncoordinated ways. The vast majority of us are waiting for the others to get started, but if we all wait, nothing will ever get done. This is why you matter. You can't wait for the others, you have to do what you can, if for no other reason than it is the right thing to do. All of have friends and family whom we care about and for whom we are willing to act. Then do that, and then find the others like you who are of the same mind.

Start the snowball rolling. From then on, it will gain size and momentum on its own. But someone has to start. Why shouldn't it be you?

Get involved

Yes, get involved. As the saying goes, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

There is more wrong with our world today than is right. There are too many altercations, crises, issues, and pending catastrophes that we can simply lean back and think that someone else is going to take care of them. Not every one of these "problems" affects every one of us. Some are more obvious, some reflect our own interests, some are such that we wouldn't know where to start. All of that is OK.

No one ... absolutely no one is expecting you to save the world all by yourself. You aren't and are not going to become a superhero. You don't need to be one. In fact, there are none, except in comic books and films based on them. No, you are just like everyone else: human, subject to error, of limited time, energy and other resources. No one is asking you to do everything, all I'm asking is that you do what you can. Every little bit helps.

OK, I do expect you to at least be trying to get yourself together, to become secure in your person and your beliefs, to realize that you can't know everything and can't have all the answers, and to be tolerant of others, just as you want others to be tolerant of you. All I'm asking is that you put your own person behind the problem. All I'm asking is that you put the problem first, then do what you can.

Sociologists and psychologists will tell you that your effective range of influence is no more than about 150 people. Physiologists will tell you that your effective range of operation is probably not much farther than you could walk in a day. That, in case you hadn't noticed, is actually your world. Sure, you've got all this modern technology to expand those ranges, but the farther the range, the lower your effectivity. It's not only time to get involved, it's time to get back to basics.

This is not an original idea, to be sure. I'm not that bright a guy, nor do I have to be. I'm happy that I can recognize and learn from the genius and insight of others. The point I'm trying to make was stated best, I think, by Marian Wright Edelman in her commencement speech to the Milton Academy 1983, in which she said,

"Pick a piece of the puzzle that you can help solve while trying to see how your piece fits into the broader social change puzzle." [1]

That's all you really need to do. Find your piece of the puzzle, and get involved.

Notes
[1] As quoted in Howard Zinn (2003) A People's History of the United States, New York, HarperPerennial, p610.

Have suggestions, not answers

Beside the side effects mentioned in the previous post, there is another -- to my way of thinking much more important -- side effect to knowing oneself, being secure in oneself: you realize you don't have ready-made answers for problems you are confronted with.

I'm talking about "bigger" problems, like war & peace, wealth inequality, interpersonal and intercultural relations, religious tolerance, social policy, education, or any number of others with which we are confronted every day. We all know people who have an answer for everything, a quick fix, a pat solution. Very often we've elected just these sort of people to public office, too. It turns out and it becomes very obvious very quickly that in truth, these folks have really nothing on the ball. They're just talking heads, blusterers, con men, fast-talking glad-handers ... the epithets go on and on.

Although the world is simpler than we often make it out to be, it is still a rather complex place. A person who has gone to enough trouble to take that inner journey known as the Hero's Quest soon realizes that there are any number of conflicting needs, interests and desires within us and that trying to satisfy them all all the time is a hopeless endeavor. You also realize that in many regards that the outside is like the inside in the respect and trying to juggle and accommodate a wide range of needs, interests and desires of others is a sizeable challenge. Those who are insecure of themselves will want solutions, answers, because they don't have the (inner) security necessary to come to terms with life. They want others to make decisions for them, they want others to take the responsibility, they want others to tell them what to do. A person who is secure in him or herself knows that at best you can try things and if you give it all an honest effort, you'll find out quickly what works and what doesn't and you'll be open for new, reasonable suggestions as to what changes need to be made to keep things moving forward.

If you stop to think about those seeking answers and leaders, you also quickly realize how dangerous these people are in the greater scheme of things. When you abdicate your own responsibility, when you place your power in the hands of others, you can be pushed, shoved, flattered, and cajoled into doing just about anything those "leaders" want. You become a "yes person", a blind follower, a passive pawn who would rather be liked than be effective. You become a person who is easily scared, easily frightened, easily manipulated, and easily sacrificed. And you will be. Believe me. History is replete with just such examples. And every day we provide countless more.

A brief look out into the world quickly reveals that the issues we need to deal with and the problems we need to solve are such that we truly need everyone's full attention and energy. The luxury of passivity is one that we can no longer afford. We all need to get involved.

Be secure in yourself

Who you are, why you think you're here, what you think you need to do ... these are all important questions to ask. If you don't, you simply don't know ... you don't know yourself. You're guessing. You're on uncertain ground.

When you're on uncertain ground, you're a prime target for those who love to divide and conquer. If you can't decide, if you can't make up your mind, well, they are more than ready and willing to do just that.

A side effect of being secure in your person is what we call a "moral compass". You tend to not only know the difference between right and wrong, for example, but you are also more inclined to act in a way consistent with that knowledge. Say you have a problem with ethnicity (or race, if that's the word you understand), then when it comes to killing, you will most likely recognize that this problem is influencing (if not dictating) your attitude. You'll most likely pull back. If you realize, in another case, that you find no reasonable grounds to think that any one human life is worth more than any other human life, you come to realize that all killing is questionable at best, immoral in most cases. Some of tried to make the case that, say, serial killers know exactly what they are about, but I would argue that they often don't acknowledge that what they are doing is wrong because they lack the empathy that normal human beings have. In other words, it is a person who is of healthy mind who can know him or herself. People who can't are ill and in need of help. In other words, knowledge in general, and self-knowledge in particular, tends toward and leads one to consistency and uniformity on the one hand, but also to a strong(er) recognition of "the other" as well.

Another side effect of being secure in your person is increased sensitivity of what I'll call your "nonsense" detector (though any other reasonable terms, such as "insanity", "stupidity", "bullshit", etc. would work as well ... I'm trying to keep it neutral). You hear someone trying to make a point, presenting what they think is a cogent and coherent argument, offering a (at least to them) "reasonable" opinion, and you immediately realize that they don't have a point, their argument is full of holes or what they are offering isone of those opinions that is uttered in place of, not as a result of, thought.

The upside to this is that you needn't lose your cool when another starts spouting nonsense. You realize, very quickly in fact, they aren't contributing to the dialogue, and they certainly aren't contributing to the needed solution. You needn't waste any time trying to convince them of what they don't want to believe, and that frees up you and your own energy to find other thoughtful, reasonable, individuals like yourself who are secure enough in their beliefs and their persons that they are willing to try and fix real problems, not merely fix the blame.

Divide et impera

Yes, this has been "wisdom" for a long time. Even my old friend Julius (Caesar) knew this adage: divide et impera ("divide and conquer").

This can, of course, apply to just about anything: the family, the neighborhood, the community, the country, or more. It is relevant in just about any field of endeavor, too: in politics, in the military, psychologically or sociologically. But it works only as long as one group can keep other groups pitted against themselves.

It's not all that difficult if you see an opportunity to employ it, and those who realize they can quite often do employ it at every turn. It could be the 1%, the political or military establishment, the educational system, or the so-called, but certainly not-so, free market.

Why does it work? How does it work? It is, as I said, rather simple. You identify the fears of your opponents and you simply turn those fears most suited toward one of the others' fears. For example, if I am ruthless and rich, I can acquire lots of land or resources, and I can thereby create a shortage for others. I favor one group, let's say white workers, and give them jobs enabling them to acquire small pieces of that land or resources. There are other groups, let's say unemployed blacks, who now have nothing but think, rightfully so, that they should be able to have some themselves. All I have to do is convince the whites that those blacks want what little they have, and they will go to great lengths to ensure that the blacks are not going to get it. I who control everything have very little to worry about as long as the blacks and whites are fighting amongst themselves. Divide and conquer; very simple indeed.

There are enough fears to go around, and all I need to do is feed them from time to time. I can tell the blacks that the whites are actually trying to eradicate them like they did the Native Americans, for example, and I can tell the whites that those blacks only want something for nothing and certainly aren't deserving of what they have worked so hard to achieve. In other words, I control the primary flow of information, of opinion, of psychological energy. Yes, it's very, very simple. Why? Because we all have too many fears we don't know how to deal with. We have too many fears that we simply don't understand.

One of the necessary by-products of the Hero's Journey is confronting one's fears, of facing them, of recognizing that in all cases they are illusions which evaporate under the close scrutiny of truth. You come to realize that we human beings have much more in common with one another than what is different, and that what is truly different is a source of enrichment, not a reason for fear. At that point, my dear friends, you free yourself, you become truly free, not just as free as those who are trying to control you would like you to think you are.

This is what Goethe meant when he said, "None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free." So, free yourself. Know thyself.

Life in the mirror

This is a different way at looking at the turning point. Truth be told, things have gotten turned around.

Let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that you were willing to take the inward-journey challenge. Let's also assume, just for the sake of argument, that you have started (or are somewhere along the way) on the path to self-recognition. And, let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that you are coming to the realization that things could be better than they are, that it is, in fact, up to you, too, to see that the world becomes a better place. Now what?

It could just be that you realize that we actually live in the mirror. Everything is backwards from how it should be: the have's profit at the expense of the have-not's; the rich can buy their rights, but there's really no justice; your own success or failure depends not so much on what you know and what you are capable of, but on who you know and how much of your self you are willing to sacrifice for it (at the expense of others, of course). Or, at the political level: that the greatest military might the world has ever known is powerless against ideas; that the freedom and democracy they claim they are spreading through the world, they are denying their own citizens; that what is portrayed as aid and support is actually exploitation; that notions like the "free market" are deceptions; that people who need help the most get the least, while those who really need no help at all get things shoved down their throats anyway; that what "the people" want and believe is only important as far as it coincides with what the wealthy and big corporations want and believe.

This isn't anything new. I'm not exposing any deep, hidden secrets. In the US, for example, it has been this way for so long and most Americans have no recollection or knowledge of history that they tend to think things have always been this way. And, Europeans, by contrast, see the biggest, toughest, allegedly strongest country in the world behaving a certain way that they start believing that that's just how things are. There's nothing natural, given, or even normal about all of this. Since time immemorial, mirrors (or shadows, in Plato's case, but the effect is the same) have been used as metaphors for getting reality backward. That the few should benefit at the expense of the many has been a sham perpetrated by the few for as long as anyone can remember. That it necessarily be that way is not given at all.

It is only that way because we buy into the illusion.

If you embark on the Hero's Journey, and especially if you are successful, you come to realize that none of these givens are given at all, that none of this well-that's-just-the-way-it-is is really that way at all, that while everyone need not necessarily all have the same things or the same amount of things, that so few should have so much that so many should suffer so terribly is, well, in a word, unnatural. We've allowed things to be turned around.

The time is coming -- quickly, I might add -- to turn them aright.

At a turning point

To sum up the thrust of the past few posts, I'd say: if you have no real idea who you are and why you're here, you're most likely making life unpleasant for at least one other human being. I'm not being harsh, I just have a very low tolerance for people who simply take up space and don't contribute even the least to making the world a livable place.

The more conservative of you will be thinking of long-term unemployeds and welfare recipients, but I'm not talking about them. They're not the problem, really. Granted, they may not know precisely who they are and why they're here. In fact, they may spend a lot more time thinking about what happened and how they got to where they are. I don't blame them. Most of them have had limited opportunities and a limited range of choices all their lives. They've learned to manage with all kinds of limitations. No, I've been talking to and I'm still talking to you: someone who has a comfortable-enough life to be reading this blog; someone who is in the luxurious position of being able to decide and choose how much of a boon or bane one is to humankind.

Granted, we're a disappearing species. We are. The ranks of the wealthy grow slowly. Very slowly. Glacially slowly. The ranks of the impoverished, on the other, hand, are growing faster than rabbits can reproduce. Most of you, I'm sure, have never stopped to wonder why. But I can tell you, that is one of the reasons that things are the way they are.

Let's face it: we bust our backsides ... at our jobs, at raising our kids, at trying to get ahead, at paying the bills. We spend inordinate amounts of energy trying to succeed, make the grade, get that next promotion. And while I may be right that it would be great if I took a few minutes to look inside, to find out who I really am, well, the rat-race, the daily grind, the job, the family, the ... just fill in the blank ... really make enough demands on me that I don't get to it as much as I would like. I know. Been there; done that. It sucks. But it doesn't have to be that way. All of that is just an excuse. Really. Those are all excuses.

There's an old saying, "If you want something done, ask a busy person." Why? Busy people always seem to manage. People who aren't busy never, ever have the time for anything. They're always overwhelmed. So, if you're one of the busy ones, you can do it. If not, perhaps you should revisit you self-evaluation. The point is, nevertheless, that if anything in this world is really going to get better, it's up to you to make it happen. OK, you and everyone else like you. We're all the folks in the middle, the ones being squeezed, and we're the only ones left to make a difference.

Because we're in the middle, we have the greatest possibilities, the greatest chances of success. Because we're in the middle, we have the greatest liabilities, the most to lose. That puts us in the proverbial pivotal position. We're not just at a turning point in the year, or at the threshold between inside and out. We have arrived at an existential turning point as well, and I'm not sure we're up to the challenge.

Another turn of the wheel

September is coming to a close. For a lot of us moderns (in the Northern Hemisphere), it means the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. For a lot of cultures, both past and present, it means the end of a year and the beginning of another. The vernal equinox is recently behind us. Day and night were in balance, and from now until the winter solstice, darkness will increase at the expense of light. It's nothing new. It's been going on as long as any of us (humans - past or present) can remember.

We moderns like to think we're above all that "superstition". The change of seasons is a meteorological phenomenon, nothing more. There's nothing magical, mystical, or even significant about it. It happens every year and will happen every year in the future as long as any of us live.

Pretty straightforward, isn't it? Pretty sad, too, isn't it? Yes, it's sad. Do you remember when you were a child and the world was full of magic? Make-believe was real. Fairy tales were true. The world was populated with ghosts and spirits and pixies and who knows what else? Sure, we like to tell ourselves, the time come when we have to grow up, but does that mean we have to stop being enthralled by the world? What if -- just, what if -- we could be reasonable, responsible adults and still maintain some of that mysterious magic of childhood? What would be wrong with that? If we take the time and make the effort to think back to those times, most of will find they were the happiest and most creative times of our lives. For too many young people, for children, today, they are anything but that. Today's children, for the most part, have to grow up fast and tough. There's no time for childishness, for magic, for anything that doesn't help us make a buck. Now, isn't that grand?

When seen in a certain light, our lives today are not all that different from those of our forebears. Oh sure, we have electric lights and appliances, indoor plumbing and heating, and the marvels of modern science. But, at bottom, most of us have a dangerous, demanding, and too often exhausting struggle for existence. Living from paycheck to paycheck really isn't all that different from living from one harvest to the next.

Taking to time to acknowledge the turning of the wheel, be it of harvests or seasons, is a way of allowing that magical creativeness that is a part of each of us to recharge and rejuvenate ourselves. We don't have to leave the magic behind us as we get older, we need to find new, perhaps adult ways, of incorporating it into our lives.

Of course, if you have no idea why you're even here, you won't know where to put it anyhow.