Summertime

"Summertime ... and the livin' is easy ..."

Just quoting a popular song. That's how it should be, but it's not how it is. There's lots going on in these parts, including big family events, and, well, that easy-living part is somehow escaping me.

It's OK, though. After all, I have a family, an intact one as well. That's something of a rarity, let's face it. I have kids who don't mind when we (the parents) come to visit, and not just because we'll be leaving soon. I have kids who don't mind coming to visit, because they know they can't overstay their welcome. We don't have a lot of relatives around -- unfortunately -- but those we have, we appreciate, and ... guess what ... they don't mind if we come to visit and we don't mind if they show up on our doorstep either. In this regard, I'm one very lucky person.

Families just aren't what they used to be, I know. There are those that went sour in the good old days and there are those that never get it together in our rough-and-tumble-hectic times today. Societally, big families are (again, unfortunately) frowned upon (have three, or more!) kids and show up at a sit-down restaurant ... anywhere, and see how you're greeted. Given the amount of time we have to devote at work being productive (for little or no reward) and how many families who are fortunate enough to find enough work only have it if everyone, including the kids, are employed, it's surprising that we even have the concept anymore. It's so sad. Really sad. I'm not one to yearn for the "good old days", that weren't really, but I do think we've done ourselves a disservice, as a culture and as a society, they we have more or less destroyed the family.

Don't get me wrong, families are not a panacea for anything. Every family has their up and their down sides. Some are better than others, but when we think back over the last few posts, it isn't hard to realize that what I'm advocating is a place where we think -- no, where we feel -- we belong. This simple sense, this feeling, of belonging is very important for us human beings. Anyone who has experienced it knows exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone who hasn't doesn't know what they are missing.

In this day and age when family and relatives may be far away, because we all have to do where the work is and travel has increased the chances that we end up somewhere else, we may have to piece our "families" together ... plastic families, if you will. There were times in my own life when our friends served as proxy uncles, aunts and grandparents for my own children whose real relatives were an ocean or a continent away. They aren't the worse for wear because of it, and they certainly appreciate(d) it all the more when they were able to spend time with their "real" relatives. It all has to do, in the end, with what you think is important in your lives.

Even though we had no real family around most of the time, we still opted for family. Why? Because spending time with and engaging "the other" is always worth the effort.