Half-way there

We're about halfway through Advent. For the secular amongst you that means nothing. For most of the more religiously inclined whom I know, it doesn't mean much either. Unfortunately, my experience has been, for too many years of my life, that those who most often claim to be the most religious don't know many of the details of the religion they claim to believe in so strongly. If it weren't so sad, it would be ironic. But that's not why I'm here.

For most people, Advent; that is, those few weeks between Thanksgiving (in the US) and Christmas (most other places) is our time of getting ready for the big holiday. I know many, if not most, of my American friends and acquaintances have their trees up and lit, the houses are decorated inside and out, all those once-a-year songs are trilling out of the speakers, and there is still Christmas shopping to do.

We might as well face up to it: shopping is the "best" part of Christmas. Oh, I know everyone likes to complain about it, but what can be more exhilarating than spending money you don't have on things nobody really needs to function as gifts for people you may not like all that much and who really don't want them.

Far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade, but if you're really into gifts, have you ever asked yourself if you prefer giving or getting them. Most people I know at some time or another admit that they much prefer getting to giving, and I wonder how much that plays into what they get as gifts for others. I wonder how often we ask ourselves what someone else may get us, how much it might cost, whether we're obligated to respond in kind (or, worse, value), whether it will be seen as clever, cute, or whatever as we think it is. And how many of us don't hesitate after the exchanging takes place and the "guilty parties" are not around to let others know exactly what we think of their gift-giving abilities. Don't tell me it's only other people who do that. I simply don't believe you.

However, have you ever really thought what a gift is? A true gift is something you give to someone else who does not expect to get anything, especially from you, for no other reason than you want to make the other person happy and which -- and this is most important -- places zero responsibility on the receiver. No, this doesn't have to only happen at Christmas. In fact, the best gifts are those given for no apparent reason. That "something" of which I speak, may be a thing, a physical object, but maybe it's not. In fact, more often than not, the best gifts are not things at all. But, the most important characteristic of any true gift is that it is given without absolutely any expectations and no thoughts of obligation. If there are, it's not a gift. It's just a tool of manipulation.

So, think about it. We're only half-way there, so there is still plenty of time to exchange, or simply return some of that stuff you've got. Don't just think about what that "other" wants, think about what they actually need. It may be the best gift you ever gave.