The luck of the Irish

I've often wondered where that saying came from. One of these days, I'm going to look it up. One of these days. Being of Irish extraction (my ancestors emigrated to the US in the mid-19th century from County Down in what is these days Northern Ireland (it wasn't then). From what I can tell, some of them were originally from there, and some ended up there having been driven out of mostly likely Scotland. Neither part of the clan struck me as being particularly lucky though. In fact, were I to choose a family motto for a crest we'll never have, I'd choose "If it weren't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all." Yes, luck plays an enormous role in all our lives, whether we want to admit it or not.

You think I'm exaggerating. Everyone always thinks I'm exaggerating. I'm not. I don't need to. I've told them a thousand times, "I'm not exaggerating" and they still don't believe me. So, how's this? True story:

I don't play the lottery. OK, no big deal, a lot of people don't. I mean, what are your chances of winning the big jackpot. For all of you who aren't real strong on statistics and probability, your chances of picking the six correct numbers out of 49 are less that one in 13,000,000. No, your chance is not non-existant, and some people get lucky, but a lot more than 13,000,000 who play don't. For that reason, I would only play when the jackpot was "worthwhile"; that is, if there was more than 13,000,000 of whatever was being paid out, I'd take my shot. As fate would have it, though, there was series of non-hits as there is from time to time and the jackpot by this time had doubled to almost €26,000,000. I did a couple of quick in-the-head, rule-of-thumb calculations and figured that if I won, I could probably quit my job. I'd have to move, of course, but I wouldn't have to go job-hunting when I did. But that's not the point.

When the results were published, I knew my lottery-playing days were over. I had managed to miss every single number drawn by +/-1 for all six numbers. A 3 was drawn, I had picked a 4; a 15 was drawn, I had a 14, and so it goes, through all six numbers and to make the delight even more complete, the German lottery pulls an extra Super Number to get you the total jackpot and, yes, I missed that by 1 place as well: a 8 was drawn, I had a 9. And so it goes. I'm not a big fan of omens, but to me that was without a doubt the clearest Cosmic When-Are-You-Going-To-Get-It that I had ever seen. There's no such thing as a near-miss. What I had was a near-hit. What are the chances?

Not being a probability guru, I didn't bother trying to figure out what the chances are that you can get seven +/-1 near-hits in two drawings in one session, but I'm guessing it's at least 1 in 13,000,000 or less.

That's my luck, I've got Irish ancestry. Maybe I don't need to look up what the luck of the Irish means. I think I know.

Going green

Most of you are probably thinking I'm going to go off on one of my ecological tangents, ranting on about how we're raping, pillaging, and plundering the environment, how our obsession -- no, addiction -- to fossil fuels is going to be our undoing as a species, how climate change (regardless of what the non-science whackos might think) is turning all of us into dinosaurs, and how heating the oceans, filling them with garbage and poisoning our freshwater aquifers is less than intelligent, but I'm not. Why would I want to do a thing like that? That's something for every day of the week, but not today. Today's a non-holiday! It's time again to celebrate for absolutely no reason at all.

Yes, today's St. Patrick's Day and all across America, and increasingly throughout the world, people are taking the day to put on something green (well, except for some pretty broomstick-up-the-butt types in Northern Ireland ... but, hey, there are party-poopers everywhere ... and how can you poop with a broomstick up your butt? ... uh, another story), put on their buttons that say "Kiss me, I'm Irish" when they've never likely seen, let alone even, owned as much as an Irish setter, and Boston will turn the Charles River green (with something other than chemical sludge, though maybe not as healthy) and Chicagoans will drink green (literally) beer (whereby elsewhere in the civilized world "green beer" is simply unaged beer, but that's another story too).

What's the big deal? Given the recent fascination with Catholic scandals and the Pope resigning, I can't begin to imagine it's some deep and secret desire to revere the fellow who is Ireland's patron saint because he drove all the snakes off the Ireland. I'm sure if you ask a true Irishman or Irishwoman, for that matter, they'll tell you there have been snakes on the island all along, but none of them were native Irish anymore. Or, is it that we're guilty about what we're doing to the environment? No, no, don't get anxious ... I'm not sneaking off on a tangent, I'm only asking the question. I'd find that a difficult one to believe anyway. Why is it then that hard-working, Puritan descendants (to a great extent, either physically or culturally) would want to celebrate the arrival of Christianity in Ireland? Don't get me wrong, folks, anyone and everyone who celebrates for precisely these reasons has my full and total support. I'm wondering more about all the merry makers. The loud ones.

On the one hand, it is the one day during Lent when the ban on sacrifice is lifted. Whatever you might have given up for Lent, whatever fasting you may be doing, you don't have to do today. What is more, the Irish are known world wide as a light-hearted people. If you don't believe me, leave America, travel anywhere in the world and find your way to an Irish pub (there's no major city on the planet without one) and you'll find a warm, welcoming, friendly atmosphere, where you're expected more than allowed to laugh, and where it's fair game to make fun (or take the mickey out) of just about anything or anyone you please.

No, if you ask me, St. Patrick's Day is to spring, what Halloween is to fall: one of those "holidays" we have no real idea about, other than someone at sometime somewhere celebrated it, and since they both occur in the middle of a dry stretch, are all the more reason to get simply loosen up a bit. OK, I think I get it. Cheers!