Over the threshold

A lot of things can force you over the threshold, whether you want to go or not. Thirteen years ago America, as a nation, was pushed over a threshold, but we were ill-prepared for it, so we've made a mess of it. We made it about "having" (liberty, power, might) instead of about "being" (free, wise, right). The same thing could happen to any of us, especially if we're forced to cross. It's always better to go voluntarily. Take charge with that very first step. It makes a difference.

What we have cannot define us. We're not our cars, our houses, our jobs, our bank accounts, our titles or anything like that. What others have about (or on) us cannot define us. We're not the gazillion of data points, bits of information or emails the alphabet agencies or commercial enterprises have collected on us. All these "have" things can only, at best, be rather arbitrarily combined, mixed and matched to create a picture, a perception, an idea of us. But, in the end, that is not us. If we, on the other hand, know no better, we believe that we're the picture, the perception or the idea. When we do, we become slaves to the picture. We didn't make it and we have no command over what it does or how it is seen. We can say all we want that "that's not me", but who should care, and how would you convince them otherwise? What is more, anything you "have" can be taken away from you. Lose your car, your house, your job, and what is left, as experience and life has shown us, is a broken, lost, forlorn individual. A miserable wretch, or maybe even a suicide. Yes, it can be existential.

What you are, on the other hand, is what you are. What you are cannot be taken from you and only you can change it. You are free to decide if you are generous or stingy, compassionate or cruel, kind or abusive, loving or hateful, helpful or hurtful. We should also recall that we like some things and dislike others, but too often we don't know why. The Quest that I have been dwelling on for the past few posts is there, primarily, to discover these what's and why's; your strengths and weaknesses; your inclinations and aversions; what fills you with joy, what with despair; what you believe and how you have come to believe it; whether life is meaningful or meaningless, and more. To glean these insights, though, you have to be prepared to take a good, hard, honest look at yourself. It takes courage. Truth be told, getting past the Terror of the Threshold is the easy part.

And for as ephemeral as it all sounds, this you is the one that can withstand all the onslaughts, distortions, and vagaries to which it is subjected. It is only when you Know Thyself that you can expose the pictures, perceptions and ideas of us for the illusions they are. When you do, you make your insides like your outsides, so to speak -- toku k'varo, as one tradition puts it -- you exhibit existential integrity, you become transparent (not invisible), in a sense, a what-you-see-is-all-you're-ever-going-to-get person. Take the chance. Cross the threshold. Pursue the Quest. Find out who you really are.

Be all that you can be ... be you.

The terror of the threshold

The reason that most of us never undertake this all-too-human Quest -- the Hero's Journey -- is quite simple: we're afraid. I'm not going to go so far as to say we're cowards, but we're afraid nevertheless. What might we be required to do? What tasks might we be charged with? What happens if you fail? And, one of the biggest fears: What if I find something I don't like (or can't stand or am ashamed of or embarrassed by or ...)? Nope, better not risk it. Better stay right here where, if it isn't safe and warm, at least I can distract myself by pretending I'm a fire-breathing dragon and acquiring riches and hostages I can't do anything with, but at least I'll be able to fool some of the others.

Within the Western esoteric and spiritual tradition, this fundamental fear has been personified in a figure known as the Terror of the Threshold. Crossing a threshold, of course, is a metaphor for a significant, deep-reaching change, like when a groom carries his bride over the threshold, or when you go from the safe, protected environment of your childhood home and go out into the big, bad world. And that Fear that keeps us back, from taking that first step, from embarking on our Quest, is the Terror of the Threshold.

Most people don't know (or won't admit) that there is a threshold, let alone that they might one day have (or want) to cross it. Most of us (falsely) believe we know ourselves, we think we know who we are, we think we know what we want and how we have to deal with the world around us. Most of us, of course, are simply full of crap. We have no real idea of who we are, what we really want (out of life), or what we should be doing with our lives. Most of us are caught up in the propaganda of consumerism: the bigger house, the faster car, the smarter phone, the prestigious job ... oh, the list goes on and on. But, when you stop to look at all those things that we think are important in life, we soon realize that they all have one prominent feature in common: they are only things that we can have.

"Having" is not in and of itself bad. We need food, clothing, shelter, security ... all good things to have; and we'd like recognition, acceptance, love ... all things that make us feel complete. But this is only part of the story. What we are is much more important than what we have. (And if you're having difficulty distinguishing between the two notions, I highly recommend Fromm's To Have or To Be?) Like the dragon mentioned above, it's easy to have things: all you have to do is take them. Whether they are good for us, whether they have meaning or make sense is, at least to the dragon, beside the point. The point is having, pure and simple. Ahh ... but what you are ... now, that's a whole different story.

Of course, there is more than one of you who are asking themselves just what all this romantic blather has to do with anything substantial, and I can only answer "everything". And next time, I'll tell you why.

Invisible heroes

There was a time when we could still be invisible. There was a time, not so long ago, when you could just blend into the background and nobody really knew you were there. You didn't have to be seen if you didn't want to be. The masses that surrounded you provided a degree of anonymity that we simply took for granted. Oh, sure, everybody was pushing you to "get out there", to "make yourself known", to "be your own person". That's what a competitive society expects, at any rate. And Warhol's dictum about everyone's 15 minutes of fame brought a few out of the woodwork that didn't necessarily have to be center stage. But, it was possible to stay out of the limelight, out of the spotlight, if you really wanted to.

Those days are long gone. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. More of you is available to more people than you ever dreamed possible. Oh, everything out there is not all accurate, to be sure. There are contradictions and changes and reversals and who knows what else, but there's no real way to put it all together in a coherent picture. You're exposed, but you're incomplete. It all adds up to a something-like-you, but not really you, if you even really know who you are. More and more, that chaotic mass of perceptions and details and factoids is you ... and you for all the world to see.

If you can't get away anymore, what do you do? Like I said before, you have to be aware and take care. But the last time I mentioned that it was all about what's going on outside, out there, in the public -- and, as the FBI and NSA have so often reminded, almost public. The same tactics apply inside, in here where it's just between me, myself and I. Truth be told, that's the far more crucial realm, and it could be the last great frontier, if we had but the courage to go for it.

For all the chaos and mayhem most of them tend to cause, one of the fundamental tenets of all major religions has been this not-to-be-taken-lightly inner journey. The charge inscribed across the portal to the temple to Apollo at Delphi stated it about as simply as it gets: "Know Thyself". Throughout most of our history as human beings, this Quest, I'll call it, has played a central, constitutive part of our mythologies. Campbell's Hero With A Thousand Faces was part and parcel of our understanding of ourselves. Alas, we demythologized the world, became advanced, made progress, scientized and sanitized ourselves, and now our lives have become rather empty of meaning, but full of things and gadgets and opinions and attitudes, or whatever else it is from facing ourselves.

Back in the late 80s, there was a glimmer of hope that we might pick up the torch again, for example with Bly's Little Book on the Human Shadow, but the Wall fell and Capitalism allegedly seized the day and we were able to get intoxicated once again on things and progress and money and burning more oil and heating up the planet. If you're consumed with getting ahead, you've simply got no time for getting into yourself. Your Ego, sure, but the rest? Not so much.

After all, it's a risky endeavor with an uncertain outcome, and what is more, it could demand an heroic amount of effort, or even be, heaven forbid, dangerous. What kind of fool runs an errand like that?

Ask Shakespeare.

And just who am I?

Too much is too little ... too little is never enough ... less is more ... how much is enough? We live in confusing times. We're somehow caught between overexposure and invisibility. Not everybody needs to know everything, but where does one draw the line? Where can you draw the line? Facebook. Linked-in. But I need the loan. And then there's the telephone company, the insurance company, my healthcare provider, my doctor, when does my employer get involved? Yep, there we are -- all of us -- right there, between a rock and hard place.

Nobody's perfect. Nothing we make is perfect. No system is perfect. What's the difference between Jane Doe in Kansas and Jane Doe in New York? Well, obviously where they live. My Ms Doe in Kansas moved to New York City and shortly thereafter one Ms Doe moved to Kansas from New Mexico, to avoid the police, it turns out. And, as fate would have it, Ms Original-New-York Doe gets arrested because of a mix-up in the search algorithm. By the time she gets it sorted, her reputation is in the trash and she's unemployed. The true culprit is eventually brought to justice (Americans like happy ends), but the collateral damage is great and due to the publicity, Ms Original-Kansas Doe really can't go home anymore. Sure, none of us has anything to hide, but that may not matter.

What's the point? The same one I make time and time again: we need to be aware and we need to care. It's not just enough that we look out for ol' #1 and not worry about the rest. What can happen to Jane Doe can happen to me or you or anyone else. Mistakes are not only possible, they are made all the time. We need to be aware of who knows what about us and who we share our information with and what those individuals can and may do with that information once they have it. We need to be aware of what we let others know and when and how. We need to care about having rules in place to protect ourselves and others and we need to take care that those whom we entrust with providing us protection are doing their jobs.

Of course, if you live in a world of mistrust and suspicion, in a world where the greedy are free to take advantage of the needy, a world in which competition is fierce and winning makes all the difference, in a world of enforced conformity and toeing-the-line, well, you may have a bit of tough going over the mid-term. The horse may be gone and you may discover that your barn doesn't even have a door. What's worse, you may not even know you had a horse, or a barn for that matter. Sometimes it seems like others know more about you than you know about yourself. But that raises the question as to what do you really know about yourself to begin with?

Do you really know yourself or do you just know what you want to know about yourself? It's not a trick question ... it's a deadly serious one. And today, it's a more important one than it has ever been before.