Half-way there

We're about halfway through Advent. For the secular amongst you that means nothing. For most of the more religiously inclined whom I know, it doesn't mean much either. Unfortunately, my experience has been, for too many years of my life, that those who most often claim to be the most religious don't know many of the details of the religion they claim to believe in so strongly. If it weren't so sad, it would be ironic. But that's not why I'm here.

For most people, Advent; that is, those few weeks between Thanksgiving (in the US) and Christmas (most other places) is our time of getting ready for the big holiday. I know many, if not most, of my American friends and acquaintances have their trees up and lit, the houses are decorated inside and out, all those once-a-year songs are trilling out of the speakers, and there is still Christmas shopping to do.

We might as well face up to it: shopping is the "best" part of Christmas. Oh, I know everyone likes to complain about it, but what can be more exhilarating than spending money you don't have on things nobody really needs to function as gifts for people you may not like all that much and who really don't want them.

Far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade, but if you're really into gifts, have you ever asked yourself if you prefer giving or getting them. Most people I know at some time or another admit that they much prefer getting to giving, and I wonder how much that plays into what they get as gifts for others. I wonder how often we ask ourselves what someone else may get us, how much it might cost, whether we're obligated to respond in kind (or, worse, value), whether it will be seen as clever, cute, or whatever as we think it is. And how many of us don't hesitate after the exchanging takes place and the "guilty parties" are not around to let others know exactly what we think of their gift-giving abilities. Don't tell me it's only other people who do that. I simply don't believe you.

However, have you ever really thought what a gift is? A true gift is something you give to someone else who does not expect to get anything, especially from you, for no other reason than you want to make the other person happy and which -- and this is most important -- places zero responsibility on the receiver. No, this doesn't have to only happen at Christmas. In fact, the best gifts are those given for no apparent reason. That "something" of which I speak, may be a thing, a physical object, but maybe it's not. In fact, more often than not, the best gifts are not things at all. But, the most important characteristic of any true gift is that it is given without absolutely any expectations and no thoughts of obligation. If there are, it's not a gift. It's just a tool of manipulation.

So, think about it. We're only half-way there, so there is still plenty of time to exchange, or simply return some of that stuff you've got. Don't just think about what that "other" wants, think about what they actually need. It may be the best gift you ever gave.

Remember Pearl Harbor

For those of you without much of an historical memory, it was 73 years ago today that World War II started, right? Wrong. It was 73 years ago today that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor (in Hawaii), and this incident was the catalyst for Congress to declare war on Japan on 8 December, and to declare war on the other Axis powers (Germany and Italy) on 11 December; later in June 1942, Congress also declared war on Bulgaria, Hungary and Romania, and that finally got us fully involved in the war. You see, history isn't always (or even very often) in reality like it is presented in our history books. We tend to grow up pretty misinformed. But I suppose we like it that way.

We Americans, in particular (though the Brits and French aren't far behind), love World War II. That was really the last decent war when you think about it. Who the good guys and the bad guys were was perfectly clear. The reasons for fighting were understandable and communicable, and it took only the least bit of propaganda (there is to this day a bit of unclarity on whether the Americans knew the attack was coming and let it happen as it did for the greatest dramatic effect ... but that's sort of irrelevant, as it wouldn't have been the first time we were willing to sacrifice a few hundred innocents in order to wage war for the "greater good"), to get everyone on board. No, the big picture was clear; the threat had been made visible; the level of response seemed reasonable. No, they just don't make wars like that anymore.

What most people are not aware of or what a good number of people like to ignore is that the United States has been at war, with somebody, somewhere, ever since. The reasons have becoming increasingly fuzzy. We're not sure what Korea was really all about; Vietnam certainly didn't go over very well in the end; and that whole Middle East thing has been so messy that in the end, we had to blatantly lie and deceive the American public to get ourselves in there.

And it doesn't look like it's going to get much better any time soon. We've committed to a longer stay in Afghanistan even though we accomplished nothing. The pressure to get those infamous "boots on the ground" in what used to be Iraq is still growing. We're trying hard to ensure IS is the villain, but all those pictures with McCain and their predecessors just won't go away. And, let's not forget the heating up of the old Cold War. After all, someone has to put Putin in his place ... though some of us are wondering why we always think it has to be us.

I for one think we should remember Pearl Harbor, but not as a tragic travesty against America, but as a constant reminder that good, bad, or indifferent, for those who want to wage war, they will always be able to find a reason. Maybe there are good reasons for war, but I doubt it. There may be times when the it's the best bad decision you can make. What haunts me, though, is why America feels so compelled to make the decision so often.

Ooops, I almost forgot. June 1942 was the last time we actually declared war; these days we're apparently just more comfortable going ahead and waging them. At least that keeps you from making bad decisions, or so some must think.

The authoritarian mind

Most of you have most likely never have heard of Bob Altemeyer, but he is, I think, probably the most knowledgeable person on the planet when it comes to the authoritarian mind. What is that, you ask? It's the kind of mind that you find in people who are either authoritarian themselves or would prefer to an authority they can turn to who will make their decisions for them. Whew! I hear most of you saying, so you're not going to like it one bit when I tell you I'm probably talking about you. I also know that those of you who are still willing to read on will doubt much of what I have to say, so here's a link to his definitive work, The Authoritarians, freely available online, so you can read it for yourself, and you can check the science that backs it up. I'm not blowing smoke.

I know, I know, you're riled that I would even suggest that you're not a freedom-loving, freely acting, self-defined and voter-ID-carrying individual, a person who does their own thing and doesn't take crap from anybody. I know that's what many of you think, but that's not the person you say hello to every morning in the bathroom. It's the person you would like to say good morning to. I know that too.

Let me tell you whom I'm thinking about: a person who likes things to be clear-cut, black-and-white, right-and-wrong, because, hey, that's how things are supposed to be; a person who has standards they uphold for themselves and those close to them, people who know what's good for themselves and for others; a person who is willing to give anyone a real chance, even if it's clear that some people are more deserving of that chance than others; and finally, a person who has strong beliefs (and opinions) are a number of important issues and doesn't (or won't) recognize that these beliefs and opinions are at odds with each other or perhaps even contradict one another.

Humor me. Take a look at the following statements and see how many you agree with:

1. The grand-jury verdict in Ferguson was appropriate.
2. Obama's executive actions on immigration is an overstepping of executive authority.
3. Harsher punishments deter crime.
4. Most welfare recipients have become dependent on public assistance.
5. Though there might have been some wrongdoing, the banks really are too big to fail.

The more statements you agreed to, the more authoritarian you probably are. You would prefer strong, clear, decisive action be taken against those who deserve having such actions taken. Be honest. Ever since we gave up the rod, we've been spoiling the child. Every time we tried to be more sensitive to the feelings of others, the more they simply take advantage of us. Local authorities can do no real wrong; they have a tough job. National authorities too often overstep their boundaries and put us all at risk. That's how most people tick these days.

More distressing than anything else is the fact that these days things are just messy. Too many boundaries have been blurred, too many people are living at the expense of others, too many sound, helpful principles and simple rules are being ignored; it's high time we start doing something about it. Authoritarian-minded individuals tend to have stronger opinions are the types of things that I've mentioned herein, and they tend to be less tolerant of deviations from accepted norms. They also often feel that they're being pushed into a corner and they really don't know how much longer they want to put up with it.

So, let me remind you of a wise, old adage: You become what you hate. So stop, take a good look at what you're irate about, and then keep in mind ... that'll probably be you before it's all over.

It's that time of year, again

The Church Year has run its course; the calendar year is approaching its end. And although time has passed far too quickly (at least as far as I'm concerned), we're not a bit better off than we were the last time I found myself reflecting on "the season", what it means or could mean, and why it would be to all our benefit if more people would reflect with me. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (aren't we all?) but there are times when I wonder how often you have to say something before another actually hears what you're saying.

Oh sure, most readers/listeners are well intentioned. And while I appreciate that for what it's worth, you'd think that after so many years and so much effort, you'd see a bit of a change somewhere, but there's none as far as the eye can see in any direction.

As this is a season of rejoicing, you can all rejoice that you're not going to get any uplifting or (hopefully) thought-provoking, Christmasy, or spiritual, lectures. If you're interested, there are almost 40 posts in the December blogs of the past three years where you can get your dose of that if you need it. For those of you who have read them, or most of them, or even some of them, you'll know that I don't care so much what you believe as long as you believe in something; I really don't care about what you do as long as it's not harmful or destructive; and I could care less if you are offended by others who believe differently than you. Get over it and get over yourself.

We need to face up to the fact that we use the "joy of the season" to distract us from things that matter and things that could make a difference. We who can are going to eat too much, party too much, buy too many things we don't really need with money we don't really have to impress people we probably only marginally like in the hopes of getting a bunch of useless stuff ourselves. We're going to drive more, have the lights on more and more lights on, we're going to spend a lot of time and energy trying to one-up a lot of others, and as a result, we're going to increase are carbon footprints significantly, produce tons of waste and refuse that has no where to go, pollute the steams, rivers and oceans, and ensure that we're not a bit better off than we were before the whole diversionary delusion started. Yes, we can certainly be proud of ourselves.

Meanwhile, the poor are getting poorer - around the globe; the numbers of the poor are growing too as are those of the homeless and incarcerated. The hungry are going hungry; the sick are not getting healed. The strangers are being shown no hospitality, rather are being shown the door. Although crime in general is decreasing, violence is increasing, often institutionalized and authorized violence in fact. The threat of terror and epidemics is thrown in our face every day. We are bombarded by advertising every moment of our waking lives. No, if we were to be truthful with ourselves, we'd admit that things aren't getting better, they are slowly and steadily getting worse.

But, hey, we've got a whole lot of celebrating to do. We wouldn't want to get all sad and depressed just because others don't know how to have a good time, do we? No, I suppose we don't. It's that time of year, again.