Over the edge

We are not alone. We are never alone. Well, unless we have become an anchorite, eremite, hermit or recluse.

No matter what all those post-Enlightenment, neoliberal, self-centered individualists try to tell you, it has never been, nor will it ever be, simply every person for him/herself. We have evolved, we are built, we are programmed, and we are by nature social beings.

Yes, the family, either nuclear or extended, is the starting point, and I know that not everyone's family life is all that ideal. Family can be a blessing or a curse, but there are so many factors that play into that, both individual and genetic/collective. In extended families, or even small communities, there is the possibility that one always finds a "parent", a "sibling", someone who is there for one and for whom you can be there for too; others with whom we can share, both good and bad times, happy and sad feelings, who can provide advice, encouragement, or, when necessary, admonishment when we need it.

But here's the thing: everything that I've said about the individual up to this point -- his or her fear of confronting themselves, of needing to take up the Quest, of embarking about the Hero's Journey -- all of these things apply to the family/clan/community as well. Collectively you must establish who you are, what you believe, what is important to you, what you stand for, and what you want nothing to do with. You must seek and find your collective identity.

This will never be as firm, as grounded, as your individual identity, but it also need not be. The group, more than the individual, will change over time. Young ones will be born, partners will be sought and found outside the core community, so compromises must be made, perhaps expansions or contractions of long-held ideas. Who knows? Like every individual, a group, too, must develop, grow, adapt, and, hopefully, gain in wisdom as well.

The picture that is developing is rather simple. I extend as far as the other and the other ends at me. With those with whom we share interests, viewpoints, ideas, thoughts and desires, an overlap exists and the edges of our selves become slightly blurred and permeable. They are not so sharp and distinct. The commonalities bind, the differences enhance. In the group, we each become more than we are individually.

Sounds a bit too ideal doesn't it? Maybe so ... but maybe not.